Viewing Thoughts: I'll be honest: I wanted this year to be awesome, I really did. I didn't really draw attention to it but this was the tenth year of the Experiment. The weeks leading up to it had been annoying. I didn't want to go back to PSVue since they had raised the price, Hulu had a problem with accessing their DVR, DirectTVNow has no DVR, and Sling is okay but nothing special. It's also expensive so I had maybe half a week to record shit.
The Experiment came about as a way for myself to cope with the fact that, for the first time, I was going to be spending Christmas alone. I wasn't going to be able to afford to take the train to Christmas because I didn't have vacation time yet at work.I needed to cope somehow and so I decided to go on a Nostalgia Bender. The years passing, I stuck with it because tradition. It was fun and it changed. Then I decided to make it 36 hours and I stuck with it. I scheduled stuff. It kind of started to become a chore.
Going into the year's, I kind of wanted to call it but then I figured, nah, I can do this. Then I started on the jigsaw puzzle. Maybe it's because I went with a 1500 piece puzzle but it just felt like a little too much. I had planned to watch It's A Wonderful Life, mainly as an excuse to play Overwatch with some friends. Then it hit me: I wanted to have fun. This was not fun. It's my day off from work, why do it if I just hate it?
Maybe I'll go back to basics next year. Maybe not. Maybe this has served it's purpose. Maybe my life needs a change. Who knows? I'll still watch some Christmas stuff tomorrow but I can do it at my own speed.
I'll still watch Christmas Vacation though before I pass out. Not all traditions need to end.
Monday, December 25, 2017
Sunday, December 24, 2017
The Christmas Experiment 2017 Hours 7&8: The Night Before
Viewing Thoughts: It's Seth Rogen. And Joseph Gordon-Levitt. And Anthony Mackie. And Lizzie Caplan. And Mindy Kalling. And Ilana Grazer. In a Christmas Movie. Together!I like getting to watch a more adult Christmas movie on occasion. Like that never happens. The fact that it has someone you love so much like Seth Rogen is a bonus. Like, if that man wasn't straight/so famous that I would never have a chance, I'd profess my love so fast and hard.
The movie itself is funny. It's also puzzle fodder i.e. Something that exists to give me time to work on the jigsaw puzzle. If my thoughts seem general, that's because puzzle. Also because I really enjoyed the movie. I often forget that I need to enjoy myself during The Experiment. That it's not all about being melancholy/watching some shitty movies.
Also, that weird ending with Tracy Jordan. Really weird. I kind of love it. This might be one of my new Christmas season favorites. Weird, right?
Non-Viewing Thoughts: If James Franco isn't bisexual, he most certainly has his gay-baiting game down pitch perfect.
Late Christmas Ideas: A pair of shoes that will last longer than 4 months.
Notable Commercials: FX is really pushing Downsizing. I was intrigued by the movie up until Matt damon forgot how to shut up. Now... yeah... no.
Tally
Coke Zeroes Left: 17 Cans
Amps Left: 2 Cans
Coffee Left: 2 Bottles
Pumpkin Pie Left: Whole Pie, currently unbaked
Current Sanity Level(1 being Clarence, 10 being dinner for The Angel of Death from Hellboy 2): 3
Puzzle Progress: Yep.
The Christmas Experiment 2017 Hours 5&6: A Very Chicago Christmas
Viewing Thoughts: It's another variety time. Let's check this out. Oddly enough, it's all about Chicago this time.
Making a New American Nutcracker: I don't want enough PBS on this. This particular special is about the production of The Nutcracker and it's making. I have never seen a production of The Nutcracker so I can't really say a ton about it.
The interesting touch of this is that this production is in Chicago and it has been reimagined as taking place during the Chicago World's Fair. It's elaborate, beautiful, and interesting.I actually kind of want to see this production now. I don't even really know how to appreciate ballet and I'm intrigued.
One reason why we need PBS is to make this kind of stuff interesting for everyone. I would never considered going to see The Nutcracker up until an hour ago and yet, here we are. PBS is less beholden to the interests of corporations, PBS gives us art and culture when parts of the world look away. PBS is awesome!
The Magnificent Mile Light Festival: Every year, there are a hand full of syndicated programs that are shipped out just to fill the afternoon of weekends leading up to Christmas. That's what this is. It's a parade... I think? I dunno, there's a musical performance for a Jimmy Buffet Jukebox Musical and that loses me.
The weird thing? It's highly an ad for Disney. I feel like Disney is a thing that I can't get away from today. Ummm, there might be reasons for me to care highly about that in the coming year but... anyway, parades. This one is boring and one big ad for Disney. And ABC. And American Idol.
Also, Taylor Hick is still alive. Umm.... good for him?
Non-Viewing Thoughts: Chicago has seriously become one of my favorite cities over the last few years. If I had anything resembling financial stability, I'd totally go.
Late Christmas Ideas: Tickets to see a production of The Nutcracker would be nice. It's just... I feel like I should see it at least once.
Notable Commercials: I love that that one Hershey Kiss ad is still running after all these years.
Tally
Coke Zeroes Left: 18 Cans
Amps Left: 2 Cans
Coffee Left: 2 Bottles
Pumpkin Pie Left: Whole Pie, currently unbaked
Current Sanity Level(1 being dinner with Seth Rogen, 10 being dinner for Seth Rogen): 4
Puzzle Progress: The problem with doing a puzzle by yourself is that you only have one set of eyes. So, I've been looking for eyes.
Making a New American Nutcracker: I don't want enough PBS on this. This particular special is about the production of The Nutcracker and it's making. I have never seen a production of The Nutcracker so I can't really say a ton about it.The interesting touch of this is that this production is in Chicago and it has been reimagined as taking place during the Chicago World's Fair. It's elaborate, beautiful, and interesting.I actually kind of want to see this production now. I don't even really know how to appreciate ballet and I'm intrigued.
One reason why we need PBS is to make this kind of stuff interesting for everyone. I would never considered going to see The Nutcracker up until an hour ago and yet, here we are. PBS is less beholden to the interests of corporations, PBS gives us art and culture when parts of the world look away. PBS is awesome!
The Magnificent Mile Light Festival: Every year, there are a hand full of syndicated programs that are shipped out just to fill the afternoon of weekends leading up to Christmas. That's what this is. It's a parade... I think? I dunno, there's a musical performance for a Jimmy Buffet Jukebox Musical and that loses me.
The weird thing? It's highly an ad for Disney. I feel like Disney is a thing that I can't get away from today. Ummm, there might be reasons for me to care highly about that in the coming year but... anyway, parades. This one is boring and one big ad for Disney. And ABC. And American Idol.
Also, Taylor Hick is still alive. Umm.... good for him?
Non-Viewing Thoughts: Chicago has seriously become one of my favorite cities over the last few years. If I had anything resembling financial stability, I'd totally go.
Late Christmas Ideas: Tickets to see a production of The Nutcracker would be nice. It's just... I feel like I should see it at least once.
Notable Commercials: I love that that one Hershey Kiss ad is still running after all these years.
Tally
Coke Zeroes Left: 18 Cans
Amps Left: 2 Cans
Coffee Left: 2 Bottles
Pumpkin Pie Left: Whole Pie, currently unbaked
Current Sanity Level(1 being dinner with Seth Rogen, 10 being dinner for Seth Rogen): 4
Puzzle Progress: The problem with doing a puzzle by yourself is that you only have one set of eyes. So, I've been looking for eyes.
The Christmas Experiment 2017 Hours 3&4: Sitcoms and Stuff
Viewing thoughts: Doing some sitcoms because sure, whatever.
Becker: I never really cared for Ted Danson up until The Good Place. His character is a jerk and it's a Christmas episode. His character is in love with a waitress, she's in love with him. It's dumb.. Other than him, I don't know a single person on this show or a character either. It's all kind of not never funny.
Wings: Another show I never really watched and have little affinity to. It's a sitcom in a airport that would be outdated 7 years later when 9/11 happened. It's also a very special episode about mental insanity. Meh.
Roseanne: This is on Logo which, on paper, is the LGBT channel. In reality, it's kind of become a second TVLand. Then it's not. Anyway, this is the episode where Fred Willard marries Martin Mull so I guess it is kind of fitting that it would be on Logo. Roseanne plans a gay wedding. It's wonderful. Liza impersonators. Shirtless guys. Drag queens. Somehow, Martin Mull's Leon doesn't agree. He sucks. It also has June Lockhart as Leon's Mom which is insane.
Look, I'm going to talk about Logo some more. It also has All in the Family which had like three episode dealing with Gay Rights or even had a gay character on it. Look, I'm just saying that they need to get some better criteria. Also, some gayer commercials. All I'm saying is that they've fallen far from bad reality shows that lack much in the way of interest.
The Golden Girls: Interesting fact: gay guys love The Golden Girls. Don't ask me why. We just do.
This is a Stan episode. It happens. It's also an episode with a St. Olaf story. But yeah, the episode has the women working at a homeless shelter on Christmas while Stan lost all his money.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: I hate that Coke Zero is now Coke Zero Sugar. It's a dumb rebranding.
Late Christmas Ideas: I saw this wonderful Golden Girls coffee table book a few years back. Bet it's cheap now...
Notable Commercials: I keep on seeing commercials for the World Wildlife Fund. It's jarring considering they keep calling themselves WWF which, well, growing up, those letters usually meant sweating men groping each other for me.
There have been three seasons of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars yet we still haven't gotten a second All-Stars season of Big Brother.
Tally
Coke Zeroes Left: 18 Cans
Amps Left: 2 Cans
Coffee Left: 2 Bottles
Pumpkin Pie Left: Whole Pie, currently unbaked
Current Sanity Level(1 being The Nutcracker, 10 getting your... well... cracked.): 3
Puzzle Progress: Not much this time around.
Becker: I never really cared for Ted Danson up until The Good Place. His character is a jerk and it's a Christmas episode. His character is in love with a waitress, she's in love with him. It's dumb.. Other than him, I don't know a single person on this show or a character either. It's all kind of not never funny.
Wings: Another show I never really watched and have little affinity to. It's a sitcom in a airport that would be outdated 7 years later when 9/11 happened. It's also a very special episode about mental insanity. Meh.
Roseanne: This is on Logo which, on paper, is the LGBT channel. In reality, it's kind of become a second TVLand. Then it's not. Anyway, this is the episode where Fred Willard marries Martin Mull so I guess it is kind of fitting that it would be on Logo. Roseanne plans a gay wedding. It's wonderful. Liza impersonators. Shirtless guys. Drag queens. Somehow, Martin Mull's Leon doesn't agree. He sucks. It also has June Lockhart as Leon's Mom which is insane. Look, I'm going to talk about Logo some more. It also has All in the Family which had like three episode dealing with Gay Rights or even had a gay character on it. Look, I'm just saying that they need to get some better criteria. Also, some gayer commercials. All I'm saying is that they've fallen far from bad reality shows that lack much in the way of interest.
The Golden Girls: Interesting fact: gay guys love The Golden Girls. Don't ask me why. We just do.
This is a Stan episode. It happens. It's also an episode with a St. Olaf story. But yeah, the episode has the women working at a homeless shelter on Christmas while Stan lost all his money.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: I hate that Coke Zero is now Coke Zero Sugar. It's a dumb rebranding.
Late Christmas Ideas: I saw this wonderful Golden Girls coffee table book a few years back. Bet it's cheap now...
Notable Commercials: I keep on seeing commercials for the World Wildlife Fund. It's jarring considering they keep calling themselves WWF which, well, growing up, those letters usually meant sweating men groping each other for me.
There have been three seasons of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars yet we still haven't gotten a second All-Stars season of Big Brother.
Tally
Coke Zeroes Left: 18 Cans
Amps Left: 2 Cans
Coffee Left: 2 Bottles
Pumpkin Pie Left: Whole Pie, currently unbaked
Current Sanity Level(1 being The Nutcracker, 10 getting your... well... cracked.): 3
Puzzle Progress: Not much this time around.
The Christmas Experiment 2017 Hours 1&2: I'll be Home For Christmas
Viewing Thoughts: In Recent Years, this has gained a bit of a reputation as one of the worst Christmas movies of all time so I figured, yeah, this is a good place to start.
The basic idea of the film is that it's a collection quest. The main character starts one place and works his way across the country so he can get his dad's car/the girl. Instead of collecting objects, he kind of just collects random experiences. It doesn't have a lot of focus and it's basically, "The guy goes from here to there to there to here."
So, if you grew up in the 90s, you grew up with Jonathan Taylor Thomas. He was on Home Improvement and he had a certain appeal to him. It's called safety. He was just bad enough but also nice and clean. Girls and gay guys loved him. I never saw the appeal. He also just kind of disappeared after a few things in the 2000s. I'm surprised I haven't seen him in a Hallmark Christmas movie yet but then, this is kind of one.
That's where this movie runs into a problem. His character in this film is an utter douche. Outside of being the very stereotype of white privilege. He's never had any problems in his life and everyone exists to be manipulated. That includes old women, bus loads of people, even himself. We're supposed to believe that he's grown as a person but he instead just kind of falls into being a nice guy... who still does crappy things in the name of "But it's growth!" The worst part? He gets it all in the end! No justice! He steals a sled and gets away with it because hes dressed like Santa!
You know who doesn't suck in this movie? Jessica Beil! Weird, right? She's the girl so they just had to make her pretty and something to be pursued. Instead, she's smart and funny. She's also very forward thinking for someone in 1998. Almost makes me wish this movie was about her but whatever.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: I think I've made it all year without
Late Christmas Ideas: More time.
Notable Commercials: Good to know a few years later, Armani cologne commercials are still soft-core gay porn.
Tally
Coke Zeroes Left: 18 Cans
Amps Left: 2 Cans
Coffee Left: 2 Bottles
Pumpkin Pie Left: Whole Pie, currently unbaked
Current Sanity Level(1 being The Golden Girls, 10 being a marathon session of Fuller House): 3
The basic idea of the film is that it's a collection quest. The main character starts one place and works his way across the country so he can get his dad's car/the girl. Instead of collecting objects, he kind of just collects random experiences. It doesn't have a lot of focus and it's basically, "The guy goes from here to there to there to here."So, if you grew up in the 90s, you grew up with Jonathan Taylor Thomas. He was on Home Improvement and he had a certain appeal to him. It's called safety. He was just bad enough but also nice and clean. Girls and gay guys loved him. I never saw the appeal. He also just kind of disappeared after a few things in the 2000s. I'm surprised I haven't seen him in a Hallmark Christmas movie yet but then, this is kind of one.
That's where this movie runs into a problem. His character in this film is an utter douche. Outside of being the very stereotype of white privilege. He's never had any problems in his life and everyone exists to be manipulated. That includes old women, bus loads of people, even himself. We're supposed to believe that he's grown as a person but he instead just kind of falls into being a nice guy... who still does crappy things in the name of "But it's growth!" The worst part? He gets it all in the end! No justice! He steals a sled and gets away with it because hes dressed like Santa!
You know who doesn't suck in this movie? Jessica Beil! Weird, right? She's the girl so they just had to make her pretty and something to be pursued. Instead, she's smart and funny. She's also very forward thinking for someone in 1998. Almost makes me wish this movie was about her but whatever.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: I think I've made it all year without
Late Christmas Ideas: More time.
Notable Commercials: Good to know a few years later, Armani cologne commercials are still soft-core gay porn.
Tally
Coke Zeroes Left: 18 Cans
Amps Left: 2 Cans
Coffee Left: 2 Bottles
Pumpkin Pie Left: Whole Pie, currently unbaked
Current Sanity Level(1 being The Golden Girls, 10 being a marathon session of Fuller House): 3
Puzzle Progress:I'm doing a puzzle this year. Let's see if I can do this in 36 hours.
Saturday, December 23, 2017
The Christmas Experiment 2017: Prelude
Here I am, once again. I'm torn into pieces... no, wait, that's Kelly Clarkson.
So, it's almost that time again for the Christmas Experiment: that time where I watch 36 straight hours of Holiday Programming.
Because, as we've established many times before, I hate myself.
If this is your first year, here's the basics.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: Just the random stuff that pops into a sleep-deprived mind.
Late Christmas Ideas: In case you're thinking of buying me something but were lazy about it, you jerk.
Notable Commercials: Commentary on some of the commercials that have popped up.
I also chart my consumables and current sanity level. Sanity is rated on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 usually being something boring and 10, well, not. So, join me back here tomorrow at 2 PM ET when the first post goes up. Good times.
Tally
Coke Zeroes Left: 18 Cans
Amps Left: 2 Cans
Coffee Left: 2 Bottles
Pumpkin Pie Left: Whole Pie, currently unbaked
So, it's almost that time again for the Christmas Experiment: that time where I watch 36 straight hours of Holiday Programming.
Because, as we've established many times before, I hate myself.
If this is your first year, here's the basics.
- I'm watching 36 hours straight worth of Christmas related programming.
- All of this is coming from either broadcast telelvision or DVR. This year, I'm using Sling TV for my non-broadcast needs. It's been... a kind of sad and pathetic year as far as my Internet Cable woes go. We'll talk about that some other time.
- Every two hours or so, I'll post my commentary on the past two hours. This is mostly stream of consciousness with little real editing. Because lazy.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: Just the random stuff that pops into a sleep-deprived mind.
Late Christmas Ideas: In case you're thinking of buying me something but were lazy about it, you jerk.
Notable Commercials: Commentary on some of the commercials that have popped up.
I also chart my consumables and current sanity level. Sanity is rated on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 usually being something boring and 10, well, not. So, join me back here tomorrow at 2 PM ET when the first post goes up. Good times.
Tally
Coke Zeroes Left: 18 Cans
Amps Left: 2 Cans
Coffee Left: 2 Bottles
Pumpkin Pie Left: Whole Pie, currently unbaked
Monday, December 26, 2016
The Christmas Experiment 2016 Hours 35+36: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.
Here we are at the end. Here we go.
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation: Here we are at the end. If this is your first time, this is how I cap things off every year. This is my ninth go around. If you want to read any of my other musings, just take a click over at label.
I'm lonely. I'm going to be honest. I don't mind spending Christmas alone, this is something that more and more feels natural. Hell, only once in the last 10 Christmases have I spent Christmas with family. I guess I just wouldn't mind just... having someone around. Ehh, just part of being single in your 30s, I'm sure.
Even though they're all family, The Griswold Family Christmas is all about misfits coming together for Christmas. Sure, they have a family structure to draw themselves together but none of them what you would call normal. Christmas is just that. No one is normal. What even is Normal? Oh well. It's all good.
Late Christmas Ideas: Look, I say it every year and every year, no one gets me any. Moose. Antler. Glasses.
Final Tally
Mountain Dews drank: 1 Can
Coca-Colas drank: 1 Can
Kickstarts drank: 2 Cans
Coffee drank: 1 Bottle
Pumpkin Pie Left: 1/3rd
Sanity Rating: (1 being dinner with friends, 10 being dinner with your voices):7
I'm lonely. I'm going to be honest. I don't mind spending Christmas alone, this is something that more and more feels natural. Hell, only once in the last 10 Christmases have I spent Christmas with family. I guess I just wouldn't mind just... having someone around. Ehh, just part of being single in your 30s, I'm sure.
Even though they're all family, The Griswold Family Christmas is all about misfits coming together for Christmas. Sure, they have a family structure to draw themselves together but none of them what you would call normal. Christmas is just that. No one is normal. What even is Normal? Oh well. It's all good.
Late Christmas Ideas: Look, I say it every year and every year, no one gets me any. Moose. Antler. Glasses.
Mountain Dews drank: 1 Can
Coca-Colas drank: 1 Can
Kickstarts drank: 2 Cans
Coffee drank: 1 Bottle
Pumpkin Pie Left: 1/3rd
Sanity Rating: (1 being dinner with friends, 10 being dinner with your voices):7
Sunday, December 25, 2016
The Christmas Experiment 2016 Hours 33+34: Even More Food Network
I'm watching a lot more Food shows than usual this year. It's weird.
Iron Chef America: This time, it's three of the Iron Chefs and three chefs from The Cooking Channel. Three teams. One of the chefs is Michael Symon so I know who I'm cheering for. The Secret Ingredient is various ingredients from other Christmas episodes.
One of the things about Iron chef that I have always found astounding is the way that the ingedients get transformed. For example, this time, one of the ingredients were fruitcake but no one did something like a fruitcake curstini. It's also incorporating it into sauces, crusts, places that fruit cake has no business being.
BTW, Michael Symon doesn't win. Very disappointed.
Holiday Baking Championship: So, Food Network runs a Baking Championship every year. This episode is the three winners along with Three Child Bakers. It's kind of not fair for the kids but whatever.
Each adult does get paired up with a kid. It's an entire thing. It's all cute but ehh. This entire thing is boring to me to be honest.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: I'll admit, it might be fun to do this with someone else.
Late Christmas Ideas: A good night's sleep. I feel like I'll be getting that shortly.
Notable Commercials: Well, at least they're just running ads for Day after Christmas Sales now. Good for them.
Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 6 Cans
Coca-Colas Left: 2 Cans
Kickstarts Left: 0 Cans
Coffee Left: 1 Bottle
Pumpkin Pie Left: 1/3rd
Sanity Rating: (1 being a candy cane, 10 being a candy caning): 6
One of the things about Iron chef that I have always found astounding is the way that the ingedients get transformed. For example, this time, one of the ingredients were fruitcake but no one did something like a fruitcake curstini. It's also incorporating it into sauces, crusts, places that fruit cake has no business being.
BTW, Michael Symon doesn't win. Very disappointed.
Holiday Baking Championship: So, Food Network runs a Baking Championship every year. This episode is the three winners along with Three Child Bakers. It's kind of not fair for the kids but whatever.
Each adult does get paired up with a kid. It's an entire thing. It's all cute but ehh. This entire thing is boring to me to be honest.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: I'll admit, it might be fun to do this with someone else.
Late Christmas Ideas: A good night's sleep. I feel like I'll be getting that shortly.
Notable Commercials: Well, at least they're just running ads for Day after Christmas Sales now. Good for them.
Mountain Dews Left: 6 Cans
Coca-Colas Left: 2 Cans
Kickstarts Left: 0 Cans
Coffee Left: 1 Bottle
Pumpkin Pie Left: 1/3rd
Sanity Rating: (1 being a candy cane, 10 being a candy caning): 6
The Christmas Experiement 2016 Hours 31+32: Some Holiday Specials
Okay, maybe watching specials from my child hood will make me a little less emotional.
Mickey's Christmas Carol: Uncle Scrooge is probably one of my favorite Disney Characters. Thus, I love this special a lot. It keeps the story very simple but it works with what it has very well.
What I love here is how much it has going on while still working. The music is great, the animation is lovely, and the voice-acting is impeccable. I remember watching this growing up and there would be a promo on the next big Disney movie along with a couple of classic Disney Cartoons.
But I think my Main Reason to watch this one this year is Alan Young, the voice actor for Uncle Scrooge, passed away recently. David Tennant will be taking over the role in the upcoming Duck Tales animated series but I'm still saddened by all this. It makes The Ghost of Christmas Future extra macabre.
The Year Without a Santa Claus: Mrs. Claus is potentially one of the most interesting characters in the Santa Lore. So little is done with her so she practically a blank canvas. That's part of why I love The Year Without a Santa Claus: Mrs. Claus gets to shine!
That all said, The Miser brothers are the ones who really star here. When you come to watch this special, they're the ones. The music is fun and their personalities are bombastic. This is actually one of the more musical specials for that matter. Tons of music that I like so woo there.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: "Marshmallow World" might be the Christmas Song I most enjoy that you never hear.
Late Christmas Ideas: Then again, New Egg Gift cards would also work more than a little okay for me.
Notable Commercials:John Lithgow is really pushing Progresso soup these days. I mean, it makes it look really good. I'm normally a Campbell's guy and prefer Progresso for brother and stock but this is still pretty decent looking.
Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 6 Cans
Coca-Colas Left: 2 Cans
Kickstarts Left: 0 Cans
Coffee Left: 1 Bottle
Pumpkin Pie Left: 1/2
Sanity Rating: (1 being A Year Without a Santa Claus, 10 being The Leprechauns' Christmas Gold): 6
What I love here is how much it has going on while still working. The music is great, the animation is lovely, and the voice-acting is impeccable. I remember watching this growing up and there would be a promo on the next big Disney movie along with a couple of classic Disney Cartoons.
But I think my Main Reason to watch this one this year is Alan Young, the voice actor for Uncle Scrooge, passed away recently. David Tennant will be taking over the role in the upcoming Duck Tales animated series but I'm still saddened by all this. It makes The Ghost of Christmas Future extra macabre.
The Year Without a Santa Claus: Mrs. Claus is potentially one of the most interesting characters in the Santa Lore. So little is done with her so she practically a blank canvas. That's part of why I love The Year Without a Santa Claus: Mrs. Claus gets to shine!
That all said, The Miser brothers are the ones who really star here. When you come to watch this special, they're the ones. The music is fun and their personalities are bombastic. This is actually one of the more musical specials for that matter. Tons of music that I like so woo there.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: "Marshmallow World" might be the Christmas Song I most enjoy that you never hear.
Late Christmas Ideas: Then again, New Egg Gift cards would also work more than a little okay for me.
Notable Commercials:John Lithgow is really pushing Progresso soup these days. I mean, it makes it look really good. I'm normally a Campbell's guy and prefer Progresso for brother and stock but this is still pretty decent looking.
Mountain Dews Left: 6 Cans
Coca-Colas Left: 2 Cans
Kickstarts Left: 0 Cans
Coffee Left: 1 Bottle
Pumpkin Pie Left: 1/2
Sanity Rating: (1 being A Year Without a Santa Claus, 10 being The Leprechauns' Christmas Gold): 6
The Christmas Experiement 2016 Hours 29+30: Not Even Remotely My Demographic
Okay, guess it's that time where I watch stuff that I have no business to know diddly about.
Austin and Ally: I think this is about two kid's who help other kids learn music or something? Not sure. One of the kids doesn't like Christmas. I can't wait to find out that she has a terrible homelife. So, as it turns out, her fahter is away on business. A kid working as an elf promises the girl Santa will bring her father home. Everyone on this is an idiot. Then again, that's part for course for most of this.
Awkward thing: The male lead is playing Jerffery Dahmer in an upcoming movie. I can't wait for parents to explain why they can't see his new movie.
Sofia The First: Okay, Disney has a ton of money to get the voice cast they do. This episode alone has Alyson Hannigan, Phyliccia Rashad, Nick Olferman, Tim Gunn along. So, the entire plot of this episode is Princess Sofia is going into the woods to get Ice Lilies when she runs into a faun who was cursed with Ice Touch after seeing Frozen. I'm not joking. She asks a witch to give her an Ice Touch after heading about a princess who can freeze whatever.
Anyway, they pick flowers, Claire Huxtable doesn't want them, and Tiana from The Princess and the Frog appears to give advice on inner gifts. The Faun plays her pipes and it's enough for Claire Huxtable to grant a wish.
Girl Meets World: Mxed marriage families at Christmas. That's what this episode is about. It's a shame The Brady Bunch never did an episode about that. Instead, we had Carol Brady losing her voice.
And I just made myself sad.
Also, secret Santas are the other part of this and no one knows each other until they explain their gifts and then everyone likes their gifts. Seriously, there are a lot of shows on Disney Channel that sucks but this is the one that works. We have characters that feel natural, people learn, characters don't exist to make their one gag, and it actually has something to say. If I had kids, we'd watch it together.
K.C. Undercover: I've heard about Zendaya for a year but had no clue who she was. I vaguely remember an episode of Shake It Up and it making me want to claw my eyes out. As is, she's passable. This series also has a little girl named Judy who's a robot. I think. She also might be Jewish by the end of the episode because she hears about Judaism because of the pronunciation.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: I never really thought about it before, it's mainly been an abstract thought I very rarely considered, but I would like to have kids some day. The big problem is that I can barely take care of myself so I wouldn't trust myself with any other living thing. Hell, I can't even remember the last relationship I've been in.
Late Christmas Ideas: The ability to better control my emotions.
Notable Commercials: How the heck is Descendants still a thing?!?
Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 6 Cans
Coca-Colas Left: 2 Cans
Kickstarts Left: 0 Cans
Coffee Left: 1 Bottle
Pumpkin Pie Left: 1/2
Sanity Rating: (1 being real spies, 10 being Austin Powers Spies): 6
Austin and Ally: I think this is about two kid's who help other kids learn music or something? Not sure. One of the kids doesn't like Christmas. I can't wait to find out that she has a terrible homelife. So, as it turns out, her fahter is away on business. A kid working as an elf promises the girl Santa will bring her father home. Everyone on this is an idiot. Then again, that's part for course for most of this.
Awkward thing: The male lead is playing Jerffery Dahmer in an upcoming movie. I can't wait for parents to explain why they can't see his new movie.
Sofia The First: Okay, Disney has a ton of money to get the voice cast they do. This episode alone has Alyson Hannigan, Phyliccia Rashad, Nick Olferman, Tim Gunn along. So, the entire plot of this episode is Princess Sofia is going into the woods to get Ice Lilies when she runs into a faun who was cursed with Ice Touch after seeing Frozen. I'm not joking. She asks a witch to give her an Ice Touch after heading about a princess who can freeze whatever.
Anyway, they pick flowers, Claire Huxtable doesn't want them, and Tiana from The Princess and the Frog appears to give advice on inner gifts. The Faun plays her pipes and it's enough for Claire Huxtable to grant a wish.
Girl Meets World: Mxed marriage families at Christmas. That's what this episode is about. It's a shame The Brady Bunch never did an episode about that. Instead, we had Carol Brady losing her voice.
And I just made myself sad.
Also, secret Santas are the other part of this and no one knows each other until they explain their gifts and then everyone likes their gifts. Seriously, there are a lot of shows on Disney Channel that sucks but this is the one that works. We have characters that feel natural, people learn, characters don't exist to make their one gag, and it actually has something to say. If I had kids, we'd watch it together.
K.C. Undercover: I've heard about Zendaya for a year but had no clue who she was. I vaguely remember an episode of Shake It Up and it making me want to claw my eyes out. As is, she's passable. This series also has a little girl named Judy who's a robot. I think. She also might be Jewish by the end of the episode because she hears about Judaism because of the pronunciation.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: I never really thought about it before, it's mainly been an abstract thought I very rarely considered, but I would like to have kids some day. The big problem is that I can barely take care of myself so I wouldn't trust myself with any other living thing. Hell, I can't even remember the last relationship I've been in.
Late Christmas Ideas: The ability to better control my emotions.
Notable Commercials: How the heck is Descendants still a thing?!?
Mountain Dews Left: 6 Cans
Coca-Colas Left: 2 Cans
Kickstarts Left: 0 Cans
Coffee Left: 1 Bottle
Pumpkin Pie Left: 1/2
Sanity Rating: (1 being real spies, 10 being Austin Powers Spies): 6
The Christmas Experiment 2016 Hours 27+28: Classic Sitcoms
Older sitcoms are easier to make fun of.
Bewitched: ...wait. Okay, in this one, a racist visits the Stevenson household. Daughter Tabitha is friends with an African American girl. She uses her magic to change her friend white then uses her magic to turn herself black.
So, this is an episode that involves black face. And White Face. Yeah. If this weren't a Christmas episode, I'd run. Instead the two girls end up with dots on their faces while the company Christmas Party ends up at the house. This includes incredible racism. Because the 70s.
Darren's boss, upon realizing racism, decides he wants nothing to do with the racist. So, Tabitha uses her magic to make everyone appear black to the racist. Which involves everyone in black face. EVERYONE! Yeah. Look, I know, very important lesson about racism but this is more black face than a minstrel show.
Anyway, the racist realizes that racism is bad. Okay, Bewitched, I'm not forgiving you for the black face but this at least gets the Christmas Spirit of goodwill for all man. We could use that.
Gilligan's Island: This is the Christmas episode with a large amount of the footage taken from the unaired pilot. It mainly centers on Gilligan making a Christmas wish that they would be rescued, it looking like they are going to, flashbacking to Gilligan wrecking the radio, and then not getting rescued in the present. Then Santa shows up and it turns out to be the real Santa but ehh. He doesn't save them.
Maude: Maude was Bea Arthur as Edith Bunker's liberal cousin. In this episode, Maude's employees want to unionize. She is all for it. Her husband isn't and wants to fire them all. We learn an important lesson about unionized labor being important in a civilized work place. It's okay.
Laverne and Shirley: Laverne and Shirley get talked into doing a performance for a psychiatric hospital. Most of it is making fun of the mentally ill which I really don't care for. Most of it is just an excuse for the actors to demonstarte being able to dance or sing or whatever.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: 70s sitcoms were alternatively very forward thinking, insane, and regressive as heck.
Late Christmas Ideas: I really should just post my Steam Wishlist here...
Notable Commercials: Apparently MeTV is getting the original McGuyver. Good for them. Still won't watch it.
Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 6 Cans
Coca-Colas Left: 2 Cans
Kickstarts Left: 0 Cans
Coffee Left: 1 Bottle
Pumpkin Pie Left: 3/4ths
Sanity Rating: (1 being a Variety Show, 10 being a Variety of Poisonous Jellyfish): 6
Bewitched: ...wait. Okay, in this one, a racist visits the Stevenson household. Daughter Tabitha is friends with an African American girl. She uses her magic to change her friend white then uses her magic to turn herself black.
So, this is an episode that involves black face. And White Face. Yeah. If this weren't a Christmas episode, I'd run. Instead the two girls end up with dots on their faces while the company Christmas Party ends up at the house. This includes incredible racism. Because the 70s.
Darren's boss, upon realizing racism, decides he wants nothing to do with the racist. So, Tabitha uses her magic to make everyone appear black to the racist. Which involves everyone in black face. EVERYONE! Yeah. Look, I know, very important lesson about racism but this is more black face than a minstrel show.
Anyway, the racist realizes that racism is bad. Okay, Bewitched, I'm not forgiving you for the black face but this at least gets the Christmas Spirit of goodwill for all man. We could use that.
Gilligan's Island: This is the Christmas episode with a large amount of the footage taken from the unaired pilot. It mainly centers on Gilligan making a Christmas wish that they would be rescued, it looking like they are going to, flashbacking to Gilligan wrecking the radio, and then not getting rescued in the present. Then Santa shows up and it turns out to be the real Santa but ehh. He doesn't save them.
Maude: Maude was Bea Arthur as Edith Bunker's liberal cousin. In this episode, Maude's employees want to unionize. She is all for it. Her husband isn't and wants to fire them all. We learn an important lesson about unionized labor being important in a civilized work place. It's okay.
Laverne and Shirley: Laverne and Shirley get talked into doing a performance for a psychiatric hospital. Most of it is making fun of the mentally ill which I really don't care for. Most of it is just an excuse for the actors to demonstarte being able to dance or sing or whatever.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: 70s sitcoms were alternatively very forward thinking, insane, and regressive as heck.
Late Christmas Ideas: I really should just post my Steam Wishlist here...
Notable Commercials: Apparently MeTV is getting the original McGuyver. Good for them. Still won't watch it.
Mountain Dews Left: 6 Cans
Coca-Colas Left: 2 Cans
Kickstarts Left: 0 Cans
Coffee Left: 1 Bottle
Pumpkin Pie Left: 3/4ths
Sanity Rating: (1 being a Variety Show, 10 being a Variety of Poisonous Jellyfish): 6
The Christmas Experiment 2016 Hours 25+26: The Mistle-tones
Because I need another horrible made for TV movie in my life.
The Mistle-Tones: You know, ABC Family or Freeform, or whatever it's calling itself always puts out interesting specials. This one centers around Tia Mowery who wants to audition for The Snow Belles which is the Christmas Caroling group her mother founded. Too bad it's currently fronted by Tori Spelling as this movies's alpha bitch. I'm not joking. There are multiple close-ups on her seething.
Tia gets rejected from the Group because Tori Spelling is... wait for it.... an evil bitch! Tia also works for an evil corporation of evil that hates Christmas.
There is some bright sides for Tia Mowery. One) She has a sister in the movie who is not played by her real-life sister. She's that rare twin that has transcended twindom. Her dad is played by Reginald VelJohnson aka Carl Winslow, and she talks the mal manager into having auditions for who gets to perform at the big mall show. Yeah. This is all over who gets to perform at a mall. How about Robin Sparkles instead?
So, Tia starts forming a group while Tori Spelling curses out a mall santa and threatens to kill him. Her group is formed from her work place which has to be inappropriate but she recruits someone from HR so it balances out I guess?
After a rehearsal montage, Tia thinks something is off. After nearly killing a pedestrian, her car gets stuck in a snow drift. As luck would have it, she ends up at a kareoke bar where her boss at Evil Corp is known as the King of Karaoke. He also table dances with some random chicks. Upon seeing Tia, he goes crazy about it. She blackmails him into joining her singing group. Yeah, this never ends well.
I just realized that all Christmas Movie protagonists are at least a bit sociopathic. Think about it. Name one who isn't. I can wait.
Anyway, Boss helps get the group into shape. Her and her boss are totally flirting. Okay, yeah, she should really be happy that HR owes them. Tia gets ambushed by Tori Spelling who offers her membership in the Snow Belles.
Tia entertains the idea of doing the Renegade action. Then he boss shows up with Kareoke so she goes Paragon. They then make out in the copy room. Yep, someone is really lucky that they have HR on their side. And making jokes about employee management fraternization. You know, this might be the most unethical place in all of Christmas Movie-dom.
However, The Boss is offered a job at the Southeast Asia offices of Evil Corp. Oh no! Well, I guess there's only one route to take: Use your new executive power to buy the mall and ship it to Southeast Asia.
So, our finale is pretty much the finale of Pitch Perfect with random singing groups showing off. The Mistle-tones love because The Boss doesn't show up.
Tia goes to wish Merry Christmas to Tori Spelling who doesn't know how to take someone wishing her happiness. She starts to have a core meltdown as a result. Meanwhile in the parking lot of the Karaoke Bar, The Boss has a band set up to sing. People show up, Tori Spelling freaks out because, remember where I said she was a total bitch? Yeah, she doesn't get any better.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: I hate and love that acapella has become big.
Late Christmas Ideas: A copy of Pitch Perfect would be awesome. It's a good movie and almost definitely inspired this... thing.
Notable Commercials: Insurance commercials are also weird. Progressive has a singing pile of papers as well as Flo. Geico is getting weirder with a parade of spokes creatures.
Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 6 Cans
Coca-Colas Left: 2 Cans
Kickstarts Left: 0 Cans
Coffee Left: 1 Bottle
Pumpkin Pie Left: 3/4ths
Sanity Rating: (1 being Decking the Halls, 10 being Decking The Mailman):
Tia gets rejected from the Group because Tori Spelling is... wait for it.... an evil bitch! Tia also works for an evil corporation of evil that hates Christmas.
There is some bright sides for Tia Mowery. One) She has a sister in the movie who is not played by her real-life sister. She's that rare twin that has transcended twindom. Her dad is played by Reginald VelJohnson aka Carl Winslow, and she talks the mal manager into having auditions for who gets to perform at the big mall show. Yeah. This is all over who gets to perform at a mall. How about Robin Sparkles instead?
So, Tia starts forming a group while Tori Spelling curses out a mall santa and threatens to kill him. Her group is formed from her work place which has to be inappropriate but she recruits someone from HR so it balances out I guess?
After a rehearsal montage, Tia thinks something is off. After nearly killing a pedestrian, her car gets stuck in a snow drift. As luck would have it, she ends up at a kareoke bar where her boss at Evil Corp is known as the King of Karaoke. He also table dances with some random chicks. Upon seeing Tia, he goes crazy about it. She blackmails him into joining her singing group. Yeah, this never ends well.
I just realized that all Christmas Movie protagonists are at least a bit sociopathic. Think about it. Name one who isn't. I can wait.
Anyway, Boss helps get the group into shape. Her and her boss are totally flirting. Okay, yeah, she should really be happy that HR owes them. Tia gets ambushed by Tori Spelling who offers her membership in the Snow Belles.
Tia entertains the idea of doing the Renegade action. Then he boss shows up with Kareoke so she goes Paragon. They then make out in the copy room. Yep, someone is really lucky that they have HR on their side. And making jokes about employee management fraternization. You know, this might be the most unethical place in all of Christmas Movie-dom.
However, The Boss is offered a job at the Southeast Asia offices of Evil Corp. Oh no! Well, I guess there's only one route to take: Use your new executive power to buy the mall and ship it to Southeast Asia.
So, our finale is pretty much the finale of Pitch Perfect with random singing groups showing off. The Mistle-tones love because The Boss doesn't show up.
Tia goes to wish Merry Christmas to Tori Spelling who doesn't know how to take someone wishing her happiness. She starts to have a core meltdown as a result. Meanwhile in the parking lot of the Karaoke Bar, The Boss has a band set up to sing. People show up, Tori Spelling freaks out because, remember where I said she was a total bitch? Yeah, she doesn't get any better.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: I hate and love that acapella has become big.
Late Christmas Ideas: A copy of Pitch Perfect would be awesome. It's a good movie and almost definitely inspired this... thing.
Notable Commercials: Insurance commercials are also weird. Progressive has a singing pile of papers as well as Flo. Geico is getting weirder with a parade of spokes creatures.
Mountain Dews Left: 6 Cans
Coca-Colas Left: 2 Cans
Kickstarts Left: 0 Cans
Coffee Left: 1 Bottle
Pumpkin Pie Left: 3/4ths
Sanity Rating: (1 being Decking the Halls, 10 being Decking The Mailman):
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