So Bad it's Horrible: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Some movies are considered so bad they're good. Others are not content to be there and steamroll forward into becoming So Bad They're Horrible. This is one of them.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (or TRF from here on out) is the sequel to Transformers, a movie I vaguely enjoyed. It had it's plusses but, over all, was just a dumb action flick but at least it was an enjoyable one. Not content to let me enjoy any of his films, Michael Bay looked long and hard for a way to ruin any positive memory I had of the first. He found: The Twins.

The Twins are those kinda characters that only exist in movie land. They're litteraly there just to make one liners and they're personality is: We make one-liners. Aren't we funny. No, no you're not.

What makes matters worse is that this seems to be the mistake the screenwriters makes repeatily. Shia Lebouf's character, Sam's parents, as played by Kevin Dunn and Julie White, exist to be comedic relief in a movie that never lets up on unnecesary jokes. At one point, Mom Judy eats a pot brownie. I do not see how this was neccesary. It's not even that funny. It felt like the screenwriter had these two scripts he was working on, one got canceled, so to make up for lost time, he just taped them together and called it done. Then we have the groaners.

I'll cut to the chase: A robot who is made up of different cunsturtion themed robots called Devestator has testicles. Why? Why would a robot which has no reason to have these parts have these parts? The worst part is that it happens at a point where I was starting to get interested in the movie. It had tension then two large wrecking balls hanging from the robotrs crotch. That earned a face palm. That's not to say this is all the fault of the three men who wrote the script. No, I'd say a lot of the fault lies elsewhere.

Michael Bay is trully a god among men: The God of Bad Movies. False sentimentality just reigns here and a dramatic score is a substitute for a genuinely touching moment. Then, there's the fact that the movie has earned it's title as explosion porn. Need tension? Blow something up! Property damage is on the menu and there's only one cure: BOOM!!! Why do we keep giving the man money? I don't think I can justify it ever again, not after that.

So, please, if you feel the need to see TRF, just go and see UP again. Go see Star Trek. Hell, go and rent Star Wars Episode 1. I think I would rather sit through Jar Jar then see the twins ever again.

Number of Face Palms: 5.
Actual Running Time:147 minutes
Experienced Runing Time: 4 Hours
Number of Drinks Needed to Forget: 6

EDITED because I somehow got Jerry Burckheimer mixed up with Michael Bay. D'Oh. Sorry.

Taking 20: Anger Problems

So, I got bored the other day and read some archives of my old newsletter, The Semi-Daily Rant of the Day and I realized something: I used to have an anger problem. I mean, really had one. I know I had some issues but I didn't think it was that bad. For that matter, I read some of my old blog on Livejournal and I think I only got worse. I think I'm a better person now than I used to be but I never know. I like to think that if I was getting bad with my emotions that someone would tell me. I guess it all comes down to one thing: who I am.

I've put up with a lot of stuff in my years. I know my breakdowns in high school were mainly due to never quite being able to be who I was. I could be but not very openly and I did some stuff that I regret now to forget about my worries. It also didn't help that I had to live under the roof of a man that is one of the few human beings that I truly hate in this universe and I couldn't say anything because I wanted my mom to be happy. Quite frankly, when I said and told people I couldn't wait for college, I meant it. I mean, I really meant it.

College has been not quite what I thought it would be. Everything went swell until my sophomore year. That's when the crap hit the fan. I got involved with someone that didn't really care that much about me back so I don't talk to him anymore. However, this caused problems in the long run because, I'll admit, I only recently got over him. It took me four years to get over one scumbag. Seriously. I also had some people stop talking to me because of small mistakes on my part that I didn't quite understand. I stopped trying to figure out that shit a long while ago. Finally, this is about the same time that I really first thought to myself, "Why?"

Yeah, "Why?" is an odd question. It's loaded and means little but to me, "Why?" meant that I was wondering why I was born, why I'm here, and why am I constantly fucking up my own life. However, I have come to realize that "Why?" is not a valid question. Being an English major told me that. Every question needs a basis, nothing is concrete in this world, and reality is subjective. My psyche is better. I can lean on the friends I have and occasionally let them lean on me.

Sure, I am by no means a better human being now than I was then. I am still about the same sarcastic, cynical, idiot I was 10 years ago when I started high school but at least I can look at myself and decide I'm worth it as a human being. I can do pretty well and, sure, I still am easily irritated and have developed something of a stutter when I get frustrated but it's all good. I have good feelings about the impending future and, hey, I might meet someone awesome who doesn't mind that I can get mad at times and will call me on my shit. That's the dream really.

Well, that's enough soul-bearing for now. Let's get back to covering crazy crap on YouTube next time.

What WIll Listened To: June 14th-June 20th

Figured for the two people who read this, here is what Will has been listening to this week.

What I've Bought: No physical albums this week. From iTunes, I bought "Build Me Up Buttercup" as performed by The Goops (something about the song appeals to my inner punk rocker and my lover of cheery music.) and The Theme From Star Trek Voyager (Yeah, I like Voyager. It happens.).

Podcasts I've Listened to: I encourage everyone to listen to Mike and Niki make a Podcast over at Earth-2.net. A link to the podcast can be found here for episode 1 and episode 2. Before clicking, do note that those are direct links to the mp3 files themselves so only click if you feel like doing the download. It will be worth it. It's a podcast about pop culture. Episode 1 is all about the writing of Kevin Smith and episode 2 is about music in the last 20 years. In both, Will gets to blush at some point since I actually named the podcast and gave the podcasters a pretty good idea. Regardless, go and take a listen.

Will's Top 11 Most Played Songs from my iPod for this week (with links to the songs on iTunes.) Why 11? Have you seen This Is Spinal Tap?:
1. "I Don't Care" performed by Apocalyptica, World's Collide (I think all music can be bettered by the cello.)
2. "A Dazzling End" composed by Murray Gold, Doctor Who Series 4 Soundtrack (Hope. That's what the music envokes here.)
3. "The Rueful Fate of Donna Noble" composed by Murray Gold, Doctor Who Series 4 Soundtrack (The sense of loss coming from this song and it's connection to my favorite Doctor Who character are something awesome.)
4. "All The Strange, Strange Creatures" composed by Murray Gold, Doctor Who Series 3 Soundtrack (Music to save the world by.)
5. "Zydrate Anatomy" performed by Terrance Zdunich as The Gravedigger, Repo: The Genetic Opera (Mark my words, in twenty years time, people are going to be going to this movie like they go to Rocky Horror.)
6. "All Along the Watchtower" performed by Bear McCreary, Battlestar Galactica Season 3 Soundtrack (I love the Dylan version but there's something about the Indian vibe and the sitar they make me love this version.)
7. "This is Gallifrey: Our Childhood, Our Home" composed by Murray Gold, Doctor Who Series 3 Soundtrack (Nostalgia.)
8. "Welcome to the Black Parade" performed by My Chemical Romance, The Black Parade (I dunno what it is about this song but I find it oddly epic.)
9. "Any Other Name" composed by Thomas Newman, American Beauty Original Motion Picture Score (More of that saddness but also something else I can't put my thumb on.)
10. "Let's Go To The Mall" performed by Cobie Smulders as Robin Sparkles, Let's Sparkle (A great tribute to the care-free songs of the eighties.)
11. "Don't Let it Bring You Down" performed by Annie Lennox, Medusa (Annie Lennox is one of those singers that I think deserves to be lofted high into the skies of awesome.)

Unsung Treasures: Der Fuehrer's Face

It's Donald Duck's 25th birthday and what way to celebrate it but with one of the more... interesting... chapters in Donald's lifespan:

Der Fuehrer's Face

Also known as the Nazi Donald Duck cartoon, we have a great example of the WW2 propaganda film. A great cartoon, it also has a number of things I'll mention after the clip.



So, what we have here is a disturbing story of Donald being a member of the Nazi war machine and his eventual insanity. The story ends with it all being a dream but this is probably the most effective of all the propaganda cartoons. It's one thing to have Superman getting to "slap a jap." It's another for Donald Duck, a childhood image, living in a potential world of misery. Parts of it are funny but it also has a message. Bugs Bunny may fight Himler but Donald Duck suffered. May Donald's next 75 years go just as good.