I grew up in the 90's. It was a dark age to be a comic book fan. That said, there were bright light in those days and I hate it when one goes dark, especially when it's a character I grew up with, one who appealed to me as a right-brain thinker. More after the jump since spoilers ensue.
Showing posts with label taking 20. Show all posts
Showing posts with label taking 20. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Taking 20: Relationships
As stated in the last Taking 20 segment, this will get personal. I'm sorry but it will.
Will is single. He has been single for a few years. It's something that he has come to grips with. He also likes to refer to himself in the third person on occasion. It makes it easier to look at myself because I can think of myself as a subject rather than being trully introspective. It's not healthy but like I really care. So, anyway, I was thinking about it and I really do feel alone sometimes. It isn't so much about needing someone to love as needing someone to connect to. I hate to get all geeky but I can heavily sympathize with the Tenth Doctor. So, how does a being that can travel through space and time relate to Will's life?
The Tenth Doctor, as played by David Tennant, is the title character from Doctor Who. The character is the last of his people, an alien race known as the Time Lords. Throughout the speies, one of the underlying themes is the Doctor connecting to people then fate, time, etc. stealing them from him, leaving him alone. THis is how I often feel. I try to connect to people but they always just end up leaving me in the end and I'm just there, by myself again. I've lost count of the amount of times I have spent at home, alone on a Saturday night watching TV, not that I have much reason to count these things.
Part of this is my own fault. I don't go out of my way to encounter life, I don't try to live. I let it all happen to me instead of grasping it. Right now, I feel like I'm drifting and there is no land is sight. I need to learn the code behind it all, the meaning. I need to look farther. I need to make sense rather than just free-writing. It's all just crushing me down but I need to push past that. I need to connect. I need to, I dunno, stop needing other people I guess. I really don't know. I want something more really, that's all. Is that that bad?
Well, that's enough soul-bearing for now. Let's get back to covering crazy crap on YouTube next time.
Will is single. He has been single for a few years. It's something that he has come to grips with. He also likes to refer to himself in the third person on occasion. It makes it easier to look at myself because I can think of myself as a subject rather than being trully introspective. It's not healthy but like I really care. So, anyway, I was thinking about it and I really do feel alone sometimes. It isn't so much about needing someone to love as needing someone to connect to. I hate to get all geeky but I can heavily sympathize with the Tenth Doctor. So, how does a being that can travel through space and time relate to Will's life?
The Tenth Doctor, as played by David Tennant, is the title character from Doctor Who. The character is the last of his people, an alien race known as the Time Lords. Throughout the speies, one of the underlying themes is the Doctor connecting to people then fate, time, etc. stealing them from him, leaving him alone. THis is how I often feel. I try to connect to people but they always just end up leaving me in the end and I'm just there, by myself again. I've lost count of the amount of times I have spent at home, alone on a Saturday night watching TV, not that I have much reason to count these things.
Part of this is my own fault. I don't go out of my way to encounter life, I don't try to live. I let it all happen to me instead of grasping it. Right now, I feel like I'm drifting and there is no land is sight. I need to learn the code behind it all, the meaning. I need to look farther. I need to make sense rather than just free-writing. It's all just crushing me down but I need to push past that. I need to connect. I need to, I dunno, stop needing other people I guess. I really don't know. I want something more really, that's all. Is that that bad?
Well, that's enough soul-bearing for now. Let's get back to covering crazy crap on YouTube next time.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Taking 20: Anger Problems
So, I got bored the other day and read some archives of my old newsletter, The Semi-Daily Rant of the Day and I realized something: I used to have an anger problem. I mean, really had one. I know I had some issues but I didn't think it was that bad. For that matter, I read some of my old blog on Livejournal and I think I only got worse. I think I'm a better person now than I used to be but I never know. I like to think that if I was getting bad with my emotions that someone would tell me. I guess it all comes down to one thing: who I am.
I've put up with a lot of stuff in my years. I know my breakdowns in high school were mainly due to never quite being able to be who I was. I could be but not very openly and I did some stuff that I regret now to forget about my worries. It also didn't help that I had to live under the roof of a man that is one of the few human beings that I truly hate in this universe and I couldn't say anything because I wanted my mom to be happy. Quite frankly, when I said and told people I couldn't wait for college, I meant it. I mean, I really meant it.
College has been not quite what I thought it would be. Everything went swell until my sophomore year. That's when the crap hit the fan. I got involved with someone that didn't really care that much about me back so I don't talk to him anymore. However, this caused problems in the long run because, I'll admit, I only recently got over him. It took me four years to get over one scumbag. Seriously. I also had some people stop talking to me because of small mistakes on my part that I didn't quite understand. I stopped trying to figure out that shit a long while ago. Finally, this is about the same time that I really first thought to myself, "Why?"
Yeah, "Why?" is an odd question. It's loaded and means little but to me, "Why?" meant that I was wondering why I was born, why I'm here, and why am I constantly fucking up my own life. However, I have come to realize that "Why?" is not a valid question. Being an English major told me that. Every question needs a basis, nothing is concrete in this world, and reality is subjective. My psyche is better. I can lean on the friends I have and occasionally let them lean on me.
Sure, I am by no means a better human being now than I was then. I am still about the same sarcastic, cynical, idiot I was 10 years ago when I started high school but at least I can look at myself and decide I'm worth it as a human being. I can do pretty well and, sure, I still am easily irritated and have developed something of a stutter when I get frustrated but it's all good. I have good feelings about the impending future and, hey, I might meet someone awesome who doesn't mind that I can get mad at times and will call me on my shit. That's the dream really.
Well, that's enough soul-bearing for now. Let's get back to covering crazy crap on YouTube next time.
I've put up with a lot of stuff in my years. I know my breakdowns in high school were mainly due to never quite being able to be who I was. I could be but not very openly and I did some stuff that I regret now to forget about my worries. It also didn't help that I had to live under the roof of a man that is one of the few human beings that I truly hate in this universe and I couldn't say anything because I wanted my mom to be happy. Quite frankly, when I said and told people I couldn't wait for college, I meant it. I mean, I really meant it.
College has been not quite what I thought it would be. Everything went swell until my sophomore year. That's when the crap hit the fan. I got involved with someone that didn't really care that much about me back so I don't talk to him anymore. However, this caused problems in the long run because, I'll admit, I only recently got over him. It took me four years to get over one scumbag. Seriously. I also had some people stop talking to me because of small mistakes on my part that I didn't quite understand. I stopped trying to figure out that shit a long while ago. Finally, this is about the same time that I really first thought to myself, "Why?"
Yeah, "Why?" is an odd question. It's loaded and means little but to me, "Why?" meant that I was wondering why I was born, why I'm here, and why am I constantly fucking up my own life. However, I have come to realize that "Why?" is not a valid question. Being an English major told me that. Every question needs a basis, nothing is concrete in this world, and reality is subjective. My psyche is better. I can lean on the friends I have and occasionally let them lean on me.
Sure, I am by no means a better human being now than I was then. I am still about the same sarcastic, cynical, idiot I was 10 years ago when I started high school but at least I can look at myself and decide I'm worth it as a human being. I can do pretty well and, sure, I still am easily irritated and have developed something of a stutter when I get frustrated but it's all good. I have good feelings about the impending future and, hey, I might meet someone awesome who doesn't mind that I can get mad at times and will call me on my shit. That's the dream really.
Well, that's enough soul-bearing for now. Let's get back to covering crazy crap on YouTube next time.
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