Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (or TRF from here on out) is the sequel to Transformers, a movie I vaguely enjoyed. It had it's plusses but, over all, was just a dumb action flick but at least it was an enjoyable one. Not content to let me enjoy any of his films, Michael Bay looked long and hard for a way to ruin any positive memory I had of the first. He found: The Twins.
The Twins are those kinda characters that only exist in movie land. They're litteraly there just to make one liners and they're personality is: We make one-liners. Aren't we funny. No, no you're not.
What makes matters worse is that this seems to be the mistake the screenwriters makes repeatily. Shia Lebouf's character, Sam's parents, as played by Kevin Dunn and Julie White, exist to be comedic relief in a movie that never lets up on unnecesary jokes. At one point, Mom Judy eats a pot brownie. I do not see how this was neccesary. It's not even that funny. It felt like the screenwriter had these two scripts he was working on, one got canceled, so to make up for lost time, he just taped them together and called it done. Then we have the groaners.
I'll cut to the chase: A robot who is made up of different cunsturtion themed robots called Devestator has testicles. Why? Why would a robot which has no reason to have these parts have these parts? The worst part is that it happens at a point where I was starting to get interested in the movie. It had tension then two large wrecking balls hanging from the robotrs crotch. That earned a face palm. That's not to say this is all the fault of the three men who wrote the script. No, I'd say a lot of the fault lies elsewhere.
Michael Bay is trully a god among men: The God of Bad Movies. False sentimentality just reigns here and a dramatic score is a substitute for a genuinely touching moment. Then, there's the fact that the movie has earned it's title as explosion porn. Need tension? Blow something up! Property damage is on the menu and there's only one cure: BOOM!!! Why do we keep giving the man money? I don't think I can justify it ever again, not after that.
So, please, if you feel the need to see TRF, just go and see UP again. Go see Star Trek. Hell, go and rent Star Wars Episode 1. I think I would rather sit through Jar Jar then see the twins ever again.
Number of Face Palms: 5.
Actual Running Time:147 minutes
Experienced Runing Time: 4 Hours
Number of Drinks Needed to Forget: 6
EDITED because I somehow got Jerry Burckheimer mixed up with Michael Bay. D'Oh. Sorry.
No comments:
Post a Comment