The movie is basically about a thoroughly unlikable couple going through empty nest syndrome. Instead of doing Christmas in Chicago by themselves, they decide to go on a cruise. Jamie Lee has moments of being unlikable but Tim Allen is the very definition of a protagonist?. His idea is a total boycott on Christmas, including the charitable donations. It even extends to giving gifts to other people and writing memos that make him seem like the biggest jerkwad ever.
So much of this movie, for that matter, is WASP problems. As a lower class, not so white person, it's annoying. The thing is, it's not even Tim Allen and Jamie Lee. EVERYONE acts like these two suburbanite's not doing Christmas is the end of the world. Her friends hate that the big Christmas Eve Party isn't going forward. Their neighbors act like they're Satan. Actually, the neighbors kind of are taking domestic terrorism tactics on them. This is probably something I just won't ever understand because of my position in life.
Of course, the big annoying bullcrap of the entire movie is the daughter. Maybe this is just me but when you decide to call on someone for the holidays, you give good notice of when you're going to be there, you don't invite yourself over on the way! Seriously, the entire freaking premise is centered around the daughter just deciding to surprise her parents with her going home without consulting. I get it: this is a girl that's been used to things being a certain way her entire life. It doesn't change how disingenuous it feels.
The only moment that I really start to feel for this movie is during it's third act when everyone in the neighborhood comes together to save Christmas. It's the only time in this entire blasted movie that it feels like the Christmas spirit is anyplace in here. Everything else is just so mean-spirited that I can never feel it. And Tim Allen still manages to ruin it by being a crap basket. Even one final bit of uplifting cheer can't save things. Just... to hell with this movie!
Also, what the hell is a hickory honey ham and why would anyone want a canned ham at Christmas?
Notable Commercials:There's a Volkswagen commercial where a family has kidnapped the car dealer and technically stolen a car since they're still on the test drive.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: My life for a decent Brick Joke.
Late Christmas Ideas: A better appreciation for wine. I've just never been able to enjoy the taste and I don't much care to drink it when it's offered.
Tally:
Mountain Dews left: 12
Amps left: 2
Coffee Left: 2 Bottles
Pumpkin Pie Left: Whole Pie (It's in the oven)
Sanity Rating: (1 being never seeing this movie ever again, 10 being watching this non-stop for 24 hours): 4
No comments:
Post a Comment