Frosty the Snowman: I've discussed this one way back in the day. It's been a while I figure I can make a repeat if I want to. Besides, I haven't discussed the sequel and I feel I need to have watched it in order to accurately talk about this. Thankfully, CBS always shows them together.
What I love about Frosty is how simple the story is. Frosty shows up. An evil Magician chases Frosty and a little girl as they head to the North Pole. Santa saves the day. We hear a classic Christmas song. Awesome.
Yep, that's right. This becomes an environmental message. Mixed with a self-esteem message. Umm, listen, I know that mixed messages is a popular term but rarely this literal.
Oh, did I mention that the rich man that wants to become King of the Town raps? Yeah, rapping. Really bad rapping. The kids these days like rap, right? Right! Rich guy wants to kill Frosty because he sees him as a threat to his megalomanical plan to take over this town by eliminating Snow. This guy does not plan very well, okay? Or have a good grasp on how most forms of government work.
The little girl brings out Frosty, everyone is convinced the Snow is awesome and... Frosty gets declared King. As it turns out, this might be a retelling of the end of A Song of Fire and Ice as told by the victors. Frosty is a White Walker. Just saying. He won the game of thrones.
I should stop being surprised by the amazing leaps in logic that Christmas Specials end up taking.
Anyway, they encounter Elves lead by an Elf Wizard voiced by Tim Curry. Santa saves an annoying child forcing the elves to grant them a wish. Santa wishes he could deliver a toy to every child in the world. The elves don't like this since since apparently the wish is impossible and if they don't follow through, every elf in the world loses their magic. Good job breaking it, Random Elf Child!
Santa recruits the Elf Children to help him. Tim Curry Elf is smart enough to realize that using Children as a work force is wrong but Santa doesn't care and they keep working, eventually inspiring the adults to join in as part of Santa's slave force. From there, it stays pretty simple. Santa and the Elves work, Elf Wizard Tim Curry bemoans that the impossible can't be achieved and doesn't try to help despite at least being a higher level mage.
So, Elf Wizard Tim Curry is pretty much forced to help Santa since, otherwise, you know, the losing all the magic thing happens. How does he do this? With freaking lightning and metal as f*!& special effects! Also probably a little dark magic. Rather, a lot of dark magic is the red glowing eyes are any indication.
I alos hate to point it out but they're also going in the wrong direction. Santa started in North America and went East. You're never going to succeed in doing it in one night when you're going towards the sun. Santa also gives a kid a knife so he can learn to widdle. Hopefully that's what he does with it also. Otherwise, things are going to get dark, fast.
The elves make Santa and Wife honorary elves which makes them immortality and they're going to do it every year now. Good for them. Kinda sucks for the elves but whatever.
Notable Commercials: There's a Hanukkah commercial. That is kind of awesome!
Non-Viewing Thoughts: I wonder if Summer Wheeze, the snow destroying spray from Frosty Returns, got into the atmosphere because the weather in Ohio is freaking insane right now. I mean, really!
Late Christmas Ideas: Some new bedding would rock.
Tally:
Mountain Dews left: 10
Amps left: 2
Coffee Left: 1 Bottle
Pumpkin Pie Left: 5/6ths.
Sanity Rating: (1 being believing in something, 10 being believing in Madame Cleo): 4
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