The Christmas Experiment 2016 Hours 7+8: Christmas Special as Heck

Time to do some Christmas Specials.

Toy Story That Time Forgot: Toy Story 3 was, quite frankly, the pinnacle in a series that steadily got better as the series went on. I like that the special doesn't dimish the emotional resonance of the film. It's funny while still feeling completely part of the world.

So, this one is interesting. It kind of turns the paradign of the original on it's head. Instead of one character believing they're not a toy and the rest dealing with it, it's an entire playset that are unaware and a small bit of the cast that have to deal with it.

As it turns out, it's because the new toys have never been played with. I'm not sure if this is cutting social commentary or just fun. I'm leaning towards the second. Regardless, it works as a showpiece for Kristen Schall's Trixie.

Duck The Halls: A Mickey Mouse Christmas: Disney, in the last couple of years, has taken to doing a series of Mickey Mouse shorts with an accented retro pastiche style to them.  There's a charm to them that I'm completely in love with. Besides,, look at that image. Is that not the most adorable  Donald also?

Anyway, the special focuses on all the ducks migrating to get away from the cold weather while Donald wants to stay with his friends for Christmas. As it turns out, this is a no no because Ducks don't react well to the cold weather. It's something I wouldn't have really given thought to but it's still pretty awesome... until Donald starts wasting away. Like, this is slightly reminiscent of someone who has turned leprous.

I love when my Disney gets combined with body horror. And now I have to Google Disney and Cronenberg.

Oddly enough, I didn't get that many hits. Weird. Internet, you have failed me!

Anyway, they save Donald and everyone has Christmas in Florida. It's a good special, definitely recommend it.

Surprise! Instant X-Mas Carol: In which random celebrities surprise people with Christmas Carols. Including Shaq. I wonder if he's going to Green Egg and Ham it?

Sadly, he doesn't. It's mostly kind of candid camera. Not very remarkable. It's cute but just as many moments of weird humor.

Non-Viewing Thoughts: Seriously, what the heck is figgy pudding?

Late Christmas Ideas: New Santa hat. I lost my old one is last year's move and never found it.

Notable Commercials:I find it weird that they're already promoting the Power rangers movie toys when the film doesn't even come out until next year. Also, find it weird that the internet is getting bent out of shape over pieces of plastic.

Also, I've seen promos for the new Duck Tales like five times and I'm so psyched!

 
Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 7 Cans
Coca-Colas Left: 3 Cans
Kickstarts Left: 2 Cans
Coffee Left: 2 Bottles
Pumpkin Pie Left: Whole Pie, currently unbaked
Sanity Rating: (1 being Santa Claus, 10 being Santa's Slay Santa) 3

The Christmas Experiment 2016 Hours 5+6: Lights and Dining

Okay, time for some random crap.

Invasion of the Christmas Lights 3:Oh, I'm sorry, you thought that being obsessed with getting

Christmas Lights right was local to America? Nope. This time, we're focusing on Europe. Some of the people are almost worse than The Americans. Imagine German efficiency with doing an insane Christmas display. That's what we see here.

That said, it's not just the Germans who go insane with it. They're just the most efficient. The British Family  does it with vastly limited space. There is little to no space between them and their neighbors. I'd probably call the neighborhood association and threaten to sue.

As much as I like to make fun of the German guy, the Italian Guy is the one in the picture. That's what this all comes down to. I can enjoy the ones where there's a degree of precision to it all. So many of these houses, when you see them, just look cluttered. I like one where there are fine lines. It's weird.

Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives: Crap. Guy Fieri. Look, I'm a little heavy on food this time but it happens. BTW, I don't know if it's the thing he calls hair but he might be the most orange person I've ever seen and, in light of recent events, that's saying something.

I will give them one thing. It's easy to do a Holiday cooking special and just touch on traditional Christmas traditions. (Repetive much, Will?). Instead, there's a good variety. For example, we get a diner that specializes in matzo ball soup. Which actually looks pretty awesome! It's the best thing on the episode until we get to the Brisket Knish. I love a good Knish but these things look like heaven!

Also, if I go the rest of my life without hearing Flavor Town, it'll be too soon.

Non-Viewing Thoughts: I find it weird that they're still running commercials saying what stores are open late. I feel like you would have done something about it at this point or not.

Late Christmas Ideas: Merci looks like some decent Chocolate but I know I would just eat them all in like two sittings so no, maybe not.

Notable Commercials: I could describe this cheesy piece of crap Knee Brace Commercial or I could just post a link without commentary. I choose the latter.

 
Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 7 Cans
Coca-Colas Left: 4 Cans
Kickstarts Left: 2 Cans
Coffee Left: 2 Bottles
Pumpkin Pie Left: Whole Pie, currently unbaked
Sanity Rating: (1 being looking at a problem and developing a well thought solution, 10 being deciding to fix a parking problem by cutting off the number of available entrances and exits): 3

The Christmas Experiment 2016 Hours 3+4: A Christmas Wedding Date

And now for another made-for-tv movie. Why? Because I hate myself. A lot!

And Quirky!

A Christmas Wedding Date: So, this one follows a woman, Rebeca, who gets fired on Christmas rom her high-powered corporate job. She fails to get a new job so she goes home for a friend's wedding. That's at Christmas Eve. What is wrong with people?

So, the cabby, played by George Wendt from the airport almost hits another car, gives Rebeca a Christmas Ornament, and leaves. I might add this woman also didn't tell her mom she was coming home for Christmas. I think? She has cookies ready. Does she always have cookies ready just in case? Oh, and The Mom is played by the mom from Child's Play/Seventh Heaven/Peggy Sue Got Married. Wow, she's been a bad mother in a ton of films.

The next day, Rebeca is a generally grinchy person. She heads to the wedding, tells off a girl scout, talks to her bitchy high school friends. The Wedding itself is being held in what looks like someone's living room. The reception is in that room off the living room that no one ever goes in.

So, the love interest, Chad, is played by Will from Nashville. He's kind of an obsessive about her. Bitchy Friend also wants him. Anyway, he's a chef. Sure. He and Rebeca dated in high school. There, that's all the information you needed to know.

So, Bitchy Friend uses her wedding speech to make fun of Rebeca. Rebeca Nomi Malones off to the diner where her mom works. Beefcake Chad follows her and they talk about what might have happened if she hadn't left. Oh god, is this going to be one of those Christmas Specials where she ends up in an alternate reality  where he life might have went different? Haven't covered one of those in a while. Or ever? Can't remember. Anyway, Rebeca can't trust Chad because he cheated on her with Bitchy Friend.

So, Rebeca goes home... and flashbacks to what happened in the first 30 minutes of the movie. Really? REALLY?!?! Why?

She wakes up the next morning, her mom is still wearing the same shirt. Wait... oh god.... IT'S ANOTHER GROUNDHOG'S DAY CHRISTMAS MOVIE! CRAP!!! Why can't I go a season without watching one of these things?

So, as it turns out, George Wendt has magic powers and has trapped her in a Christmas Wedding time warp. Wonderful. He gives her some vague rules about needing to find the answer to some question. Awesome. I hope she kills Bitchy Friend in one of her rotations.

So, most of the rest of Rotation 2 is spent with more of the same. No significant changes until she comes to Beefcake Chad. Then she demonstrates complete knowledge of the time stream ahead of everyone. She leaves and tries to get on a flight out of dodge but George Wendt has hijacked the airport and won't giver her another flight.

Rotation 3: Rebeca shows up early to the wedding and talks to the priest. He gives her a bit of Metaphysics and Dumb Theological Arguments for Dummies 101. She then buys an incredibly ugly dress and tells off Bitchy Friend. It appears she's going for being a force of chaos this time. This includes the ugly dress, doing shots, dancing with the drunk guy friend, punching the drunk guy friend, getting taken to jail.

Rotation 4: Rebeca decides she would rather spend the day with her mother. So, they both go to the diner to work, bond, etc. She also uses the work Credit Card to buy herself a nice dress and a dress. George Wendt shws up on the TV to lecture Rebeca about valuing people over objects and money.

Rotation 5: Rebeca is at the diner when The Bride-to-be comes in. Rebeca has started to show signs of understanding. The Bride says that Beefcake Chad never cheated with Bitchy Friend. She walks around with Beefcake Chad and awww, they're cute together. Oh, and then the term Big City gets used.

Rotation 6: Rebeca decides to learn how to iceskate.

Rotation 7: Rebeca decides to learn how to bake.

An indiscernible amount of Rotations later (at least 3-6): Rebeca knows how to bake and ice skate. She also snores at the wedding.

Rotation... let's say 14: Rebecca is a master Ice Skater and goes with Beefcake Chad.  Also, Rebeca is thoroughly creepy with having learned everything about everything about everyone at this point.

Later,  This time, Rebeca buys all the Christmas Cookies from the Girl Scout and hands them out to random people on the street. She's being nice to everyone until Bitchy Friend. She threatens to rip out her hair of before firing the band and replacing them with a string quartet. Wedding goes perfect so probably the last rotation? After the wedding, she has a good conversation with Beefcake Chad. She then takes her to a restaurant where she cooked dinner. It's kind of creepy. Really creepy.

So, Rebeca gives a speech at the wedding  which is commonly reserved for members of the wedding party but this is a made for tv movie, Goddamnit! Screw protocol! Wedding dance happens, including Mom dancing with Drunk Guy because sure? Is Drunk Guy going to be her new daddy? Also, more flashbacks. This movie is less than two hours. How many flashbacks could you develop? Or Need?!? So much padding!

So, Rebeca wakes up. It's Christmas Morning! The Rotation is over! Woo! Our movie is finally ending! YEAH!!! Rebeca has decided to move home. Meaning she's going to leave all her possessions in New York. And walk out on her apartment lease. Yeah, that's really smart Rebeca. Oh, but she's engaged. Yeah.... no.

Non-Viewing Thoughts:  I wonder, if Unicef and ASPCA spent half their advertising budget on their actual charity, if there would be a better world?


Late Christmas Ideas: A Time Warp so I can get good enough at something to actually do something with my life.

Notable Commercials: I miss when Sarah MacLachlan was in all the ASPCA commercials.

Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 7 Cans
Coca-Colas Left: 4 Cans
Kickstarts Left: 2 Cans
Coffee Left: 2 Bottles
Pumpkin Pie Left: Whole Pie, currently unbaked
Sanity Rating: (1 being a Christmas Party, 10 being Four Christmas Weddings and a New Year's Funeral): 4

The Christmas Experiment 2016 Hours 1+2: Home Alone: The Holiday Heist

Because sometimes you just can't let a franchise die!

Home Alone: The Holiday Heist: Because there has to be a fifth one in this series. For some reason.

AHH! I'm in a crappy sequel to a movie released before I was born!

This one centers on a family that moves to Maine. The dad is boring but slightly practical. The mom is obsessed with her job. The daughter is a jerk, obsessed with her phone. The son is scared of his own shadow/plays video games. This is the full extent of their personalities. They got a new house that the son, Finn, thinks is haunted.

Thieves want to break into their house because apparently some bootlegger used to live there and might have left a painting worth millions. The lead thief is played by Malcolm McDowell who is collecting our Ben Kingsley Paycheck here. There's also The Chick who is obsessed with the last safecracker. In addition, they have a new Safecracker who is a nitwit.

So, Finn the Son is obsessed with playing shooters and doesn't have any real friends. He finds the safe with the painting in it downstairs almost immediately. It even has the painting painted on the front. How did the realtor or previous tenants never find that? Someone would have had an extra few millions by now!

Anyway, he meets the kid across the street who tells him the house is haunted. Said kid is also obsessed with snow. Something tells me that they have a worn out copy of Frozen...

So, the kid has already booby trapped his room for ghosts... and owns a stun gun. What kid owns a stun gun?  His parents aren't amused.

While out getting a tree, the thieves break into the house. They open the safe... which is empty. Okay, maybe someone was smarter than they realized. They decide to come back during the holiday party the family has been invited to.

Speaking of the party, the mom is obsessed with it. The kids, not so much. She goes crazy, tells the kids to stay home and then takes away their phones. I'm sure she won't regret that if one of them cuts their hand off by accident. Or it's an ill-thought out plot thread. At least the mom in the original seemed to care about her family.

As is traditional with Home Alone protagonists, Finn is a sociopath. Finding himself alone, he goes out of his way to destroy and wreck the house. No clue if he will inflict what should be lethal harm on one of the thieves.

Malcolm McDowell injured himself and turns out the painting is of his great grandmother. Meh.

Oh, The Daughter still has the phone.  Not that it does her any good when they find a secret room in the safe that leads into a room full of booze. She gets locked in there. Finn doesn't notice.

Finn plays online and talks to a 23 year old online. I'm not joking. Turns out the guy is in college and isn't visiting his family for Christmas. Finn proceeds to shame him over this. I'm not joking. THIS! THIS FREAKING SCENE! Just because you don't visit family for Christmas doesn't mean you can't have Christmas! I do it ever year. I hope this is the one where the thieves kill the kids because Finn could use a shovel upside the head.

Speaking of the thieves, the thieves show up. Finn's 23 year old college friend pep talks him. The thieves leave. Finn tries to get his sister out of the basement. While out, he runs into Malcom McDowell. He figures out that there is no ghost, only thieves.

Finn, continuing on the road to being a sociopath, gets pointers to treat his real-life like a video game. So, he builds traps. From the sequence, this appears to be done via creating an army of clones. I get that this visual effect was created to make it look like time has passed but it instead really is more like the kid is a little Jamie Madrox.

The hardest part to recap of any of these films is the trap sequence. It mostly involves the thieves being idiots/the kid display levels of prescience that would put a psychic to shame.

In the midst of all this, The Daughter is reading War and Peace. I guess there are worse times to read the classics.

Finn the Kid talks to his 23 year old friend online. The 23-year old suddenly realizes that the kid was talking about something actually freaking happening. Finn the Kid doesn't react well to someone inquiring about his safety so he leaves the call. The phone is actually dead so no getting through to the cops that way either.

The parents finally start heading hone. The 23-year old has hacked XBox Live to find their credit card information to call them. Okay, let's take a step back and look at that sentence. A 23-year old. Has hacked an online service. To get a phone number. Right. This is screwed up. The parents, understandably, are upset and think that the 23-year old has kidnapped their kid. I feel like this movie ends with Chris Hanson.

The kid attacks the thieves. Meh. They figure out that the kid is the one attacking them. Meh. They lock the kid in the car.

An entire SWAT team storms the 23-year old's apartment. I'm pretty sure that's a bit illegal.

The neighbor kid who is obsessed with snow starts attacking the neighbors. I don't know if this kid just lives in the front lawn of the other house.

So, the thieves get locked in the safe, the cops go to the right house, and the neighbor kid is in the process of encasing The Chick Thief in a snow man where she will probably die. Note to self: Never mess with someone obsessed with snow.

The painting also gets returned to the museum. The family gets passes to it as well as 30,000 dollars. Crazy Mom also apologizes to the 23-year old by buying him plane tickets home. Yeah, that's some great consideration there. Oh well, this movie isn't great. Still probably not the worst thing I'll watch today.

Non-Viewing Thoughts:  I'm making a ham tomorrow. Should be nice.


Late Christmas Ideas: A weather device so I can go to the movies on Monday.

Notable Commercials: There's the commercial that has a dad singing Taylor Dyne's "Tell It To My Heart" in the car. It's supposed to be for Cheetos. It's more bizarre than anything else.
 Especially since he looks 40 at most so I guess he's old enough to have grown up with an 80s pop dance song but still.

Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 7 Cans
Coca-Colas Left: 4 Cans
Kickstarts Left: 2 Cans
Coffee Left: 2 Bottles
Pumpkin Pie Left: Whole Pie, currently unbaked
Sanity Rating: (1 being a White Christmas, 10 being Christmas in Siberia): 3

The Christmas Experiment 2016: Prelude

Look, people, I seem to be a stickler for pain. So, once again, we are doing The Christmas Experiment. And, once again, we're doing a full 36 hours.

Because I hate myself.

My Santa's so fancy, you don't even know.

A lot!

If this is your first year, here's the basics.

1. I'm watching 36 hours straight worth of Christmas related programming.  
2. All of this is coming from either broadcast telelvision or DVR. I have recently started using Playstation Vue so I have a few programs saved up. I'm going to be a bit more lax on pre-recorded programs this year because there isn't much on today oddly.
3. Every two hours or so, I'll post my commentary on the past two hours. This is mostly stream of consciousness with little real editing. Because lazy.

So, every year, I chart certain things:

Non-Viewing Thoughts: Just the random stuff that pops into a sleep-deprived mind.  

Late Christmas Ideas: In case you're thinking of buying me something but were lazy about it, you jerk.

Notable Commercials: Commentary on some of the commercials that have popped up.

I also chart my consumables and current sanity level. Sanity is rated on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 usually being something boring and 10, well, not. So, join me back here at 2 PM ET when the first post goes up. Good times.

Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 7 Cans
Coca-Colas Left: 4 Cans
Kickstarts Left: 2 Cans
Coffee Left: 2 Bottles
Pumpkin Pie Left: Whole Pie, currently unbaked

The Christmas Experiment 2015: Hours 35+36: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

Viewing Thoughts: Time to end out this marathon the only way I know how: Christmas Vacation.

Christmas Vacation is so much of who I am and what Christmas is to me. I have long since hit the point where Christmas  has less and less to do with Family and more and more to do with memory and tradition. I dunno. I love it regardless. I have a hard time saying anything I haven't said before.

I dunno, I'm going through some stuff right now and see how things go right for Clark just helps me so much. It reminds me that not everything in the world is wrong and sometimes, even the worse of us can get a good day. I'd like to have a good day. I'm not sure it's in the cards for me at this point but, if it works out for me, then maybe that can be my light at the sewage plant. I need one.

Non-Viewing Thoughts: It's gonna be nice to have absolutely nothing to do tomorrow. I'm going to wake up, watch movies, just plain do nothing.

Late Christmas Ideas: Apparently those Moose Antler Mugs are available at Hallmark for like 25 bucks a glass. So, you know, they might be on sale starting tomorrow. Just saying.

Final Tally:
Mountain Dews Drank: 3
Amps Drank: 2
Bottle of Coffee Drank: 2
Pumpkin Pie Left: All Gone
Sanity Rating: (1 being ordering your Christmas Stuff online, 10 being shopping on Christmas Day at the one place that's open): 6

The Christmas Experiment 2015: Hours 33+34: Christmas Comedies

I don't care for sitcoms as part of this but ehh, whatever.

The Andy Griffith Show Christmas Special: In the Grand Spirit of CBS colorizing I Love Lucy, they've moved onto another sitcom. The main premise of the episode is that Ben, the department store owner, catches a moonshiner and insists on him getting locked up on Christmas. This results in many people getting locked up at Christmas and your standard, "His heart grew three sizes that day." It is funny because Ben keeps trying to get locked up in Jail to join in on Christmas and having to find new ways to get arrested, many of which get thwarted in the process.

Also, Don Knotts is horrifying in full color. Some things were not meant to be known in full color.

All That - Christmas: From long before they started harvesting talent from the pods beneath the Nickelodeon Studios. The kids are pretty decent with humor in the first Christmas episode. Also, I forgot that Keenan Thompson started out here, Good Burger spun off, and then he moved onto SNL. I got some good laughs out of this one though,I will admit, some of it would have been funnier to 10 year old Will.

Mork and Mindy: "Mork's First Christmas": Robin Williams's alien character learns all about Christmas. The thing I always found funny about this show is you could switch out "alien" with "foreign" in many of the episodes. This is one of those. Mork makes Christmas presents for everyone. It's cute. The real present is helping everyone remember things they had forgotten. Robin Williams was a class act and I think the world is a much darker place without him.

Mama's Family: "Santa Mama": Mama is being a scrooge. She's depressed because they can't find the star for the tree. I wonder if it's the same place that Jeffy's family left their star. Mama ends up becoming Santa Claus, gaining the Christmas spirit. It's okay. Vicki Lawrence had been playing the role for years at the point and

Notable Commercials: Antenna TV is going to start showing episodes of Johnny Carson starting next year. Should be interesting.

Non-Viewing Thoughts: The worse thing in the world is when you really want to talk to someone but there's not much you can do about it.

Late Christmas Ideas: Dry weather tomorrow. Don't have that? Then hell if I know.

Tally:
Mountain Dews left: 9
Amps left: All Gone
Coffee Left: All Gone
Pumpkin Pie Left: 1/4th left
Sanity Rating: (1 being ordering your Christmas Stuff online, 10 being shopping on Christmas Day at the one place that's open): 6

The Christmas Experiment: Hours 31+32: Charlie Brown at 50

Okay, it's not a season without watching Charlie Brown. Oh, and they have a ton of extra stuff also this year since it's an anniversary.

It's Your 50th Christmas, Charlie Brown: Kristen Bell is hosting a special about Charlie Brown. It's using some older clips from over the ages of specials while also presenting some music from mainly the original Christmas Special. Also, interviews with some of the Child Actors from the original. The original Lucy is a dear. Also, I am a little ashamed of how little effort I put into my own segment about the 50th anniversary compared to what they did here.

Interesting fact: Did you know that Sarah Macclachlan is capable of singing songs other than about sad pets? She's singing "Christmastime Is Here" and it's pretty decent. That said, every time it shows Snoopy while she sings, I wonder if he's been sent to the pound and if I don't act fast, he'll be put down. That would be a damn shame.


The weird thing: They're borrowing songs and clips heavily from the 90s, "You Don't Look 40, Charlie Brown." For a clip show retrospective, they're borrowing heavily from a clip show retrospective. If that ain't meta, I don't know what is.

Kristen Chenowith ends up singing "Happiness" from You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown. That was the first real musical I can remember seeing so that is definitely a cast of something hitting close to home. Considering my sleep deprivation level, it's definitely effecting me a bit. Also, I think I liked Pentatonix a bit more before they became famous. Sorry to be a hipster.

A Charlie Brown Christmas: I think this is my third or fourth time watching this during the Experiment. After Christmas Vacation, it might be the most covered thing. I wish I could say something other than it being my favorite Christmas special but... just click on the label and become enlightened.

Charlie Brown's Christmas Tales: They needed to fill space in the special to keep the commercials so they made these but you know that by now. Some are better than others. I like Linus's segment as well as Sally's. Both are fun and they feel very true to the characters.

Notable Commercials: I've seen the commercial for Merci chocolate like 10 times in the last day after not seeing it once. I mean, I'm sure they're great but seeing someone being nice and getting candy as a reward is getting old. I'd prefer some apple cider at this point.

Non-Viewing Thoughts: As interesting as it's been to do the 36 hours this time around, I feel like I'm going back to 24 hours. Also, for that record, I'm not sure if I'll switch back to doing Christmas Eve instead of Christmas Day. It'll depend on what's playing I guess.

Late Christmas Ideas: A Boyfriend would be nice but, barring that, some self-respect would be cool.

Tally:
Mountain Dews left: 9
Amps left: All Gone
Coffee Left: All Gone
Pumpkin Pie Left: 1/4th left
Sanity Rating: (1 being Sugar Plums, 10 being Sugar Typhoid): 6

The Christmas Experiment 2015: Hours 29+30: That's So Not In My Demographic

Time for more of stuff that is outrageously outside of my demographic.

Girl Meets World: So, this could also be called the Nostalgia Episode. A sequel series to Boy Meets World, a sitcom from the 90s, the parents from the original along with Ryder Strong's character, Shaun, are here for the holiday. The main plot revolves around Riley, the daughter of that series's Cory and Topanga, feeling inadequate because Shaun barely acknowledges her. Also, Cory's mom is terrible. The overall plot seems to end up being that Shaun was tired of seeing everyone having kids but him. Personally, I could care less that some of my friends have kids but that's just me.

The Fairly Odd Parents: Christmas Every Day. One of the episodes where Timmy makes a wish and it ruins the world. Okay, that's a lot of episodes. God, Timmy is a terrible child. It's not quite a case of Christmas repeating everyday. It's a case where every day is actually Christmas. This, of course, does raise the question of why don't people stop observing Christmas but whatever.

Anyway, the spirits of the other Holidays decide to kill Santa. This leads to a fight sequence that's actually kind of cute and inventive. Too bad so much of the rest of the episode is so shrill.

Nickolodeon's Ho Ho Holiday Special: So, ummm, I have no clue here. There are a ton of Nick shows I will never watch. Apparently all of the stars got invited to a party. Here's the thing, I don't know if they're in character or just playing versions of themselves. Almost everyone is annoying and they're being held captive by someone in a giant house. I'm assuming everyone has traits from their shows. I really don't care.

There are also all these random sketches in the middle as well. I wonder if someone was trying to apply the old celebrity Christmas Specials to a bunch of pre-packaged child celebrities that were not born but distilled from pods beneath the old Nickelodeon Studios at Universal Studion Florida.

Also, the villain is Manny from Modern Family for whatever reason. It's kind of random and also has moments of hanging a lampshade on everything. It's all rather terrible and needs to never be shown again.

Notable Commercials: How is Kidz Bop still a thing?

Non-Viewing Thoughts: I wonder how long it takes to make a gingerbread house? It might be worth exploring someday.

Late Christmas Ideas: The last hour of my life back. Barring that, a good chance I never have to find out who any of these horrible children are.

Tally:
Mountain Dews left: 9
Amps left: All Gone
Coffee Left: All Gone
Pumpkin Pie Left: 1/4th left
Sanity Rating: (1 being A Quiet Night of Caroling, 10 being A Star-Studded Special with 5 Celebrity Guest Stars): 7

The Christmas Experiment 2015: Hours 27+28: Food Stuff

Okay, going to be eating dinner so let's watch some Food Porn while I finish making dinner and eating it.

The Pioneer Woman: I kind of wonder what's the point is of airing a special on making Christmas Dinner on Christmas Day. I mean, it's not even as if anything is open this late to get all the ingredients you need. Whatever. I also have to wonder when this got shot. I mean, it says its a Christmas Get Together but I'm willing to bet it was shot in August or September.

Lee Drummond is a good cook, it's just that I was cooking during this time so I didn't have much to say. Her ham looked good.

All-Star Holiday: This is, by far, one of the laziest things I've seen. Food Network made a clip show of all of their Stars's holiday episodes and concentrated it down to an hour. I really don't have all that much to say on it. Some of the food is way too complicated for me to try and half of the stuff is lifted directly from the thing they scheduled before it. That's beyond lazy there. And just one clip with Giada or Ian? Terrible! Oh well, at least no Sandra Lee with a Christmas Cocktail/Tablescape.

Notable Commercials: There was a commercial for People Magazine revolving around Jennifer Lawrence photobombing everyone.

Non-Viewing Thoughts: Yeah, next year I do believe I will be trying something different. Not sure what yet but something. Don't know exactly what I mean by that for that matter.

Late Christmas Ideas: A stand mixer. Oh, you don't have an extra arm and leg to buy one for me? Not my fault.

Tally:
Mountain Dews left: 9
Amps left: 1
Coffee Left: All Gone
Pumpkin Pie Left: 1/2 left
Sanity Rating: (1 being A Cornish Hen, 10 being A Triple Stuffed Turducken): 3

The Christmas Experiment 2015: Hours 25+26: I'm Not Ready For Christmas

Viewing Thoughts: The Hallmark Channel gave me a lot of bad options for this year. I went with I'm Not Ready For Christmas which, like many of the worst of the worst, is a take-off on a much better movie that had nothing to do with Christmas. This time? Liar Liar! Yeah, I'm expecting a wonderful trainwreck here.

So, our lead, Holly, played by Alicia DeWitt, is a compulsive liar. Like, I think she has said one honest line so far that's not a lie. So, another Christmas movie about a raging sociopath? Yeah! The protagonists of all of these things are. She lies to get a client, she lies to get a taxi, she lies to get out of a Christmas Tree Lighting.

At a party, she runs into Taxi Guy who has a name but I doubt it'll matter since he's there as the love interest who has no purpose except to be psychologically stable. Holly lands the audition for an account and misses her niece's recital and OMG! Her music teacher is Taxi Guy! Who ever expected that? Oh wait, anyone with half a brain did!

So, the niece gives some money to Santa and then wishes that her aunt could only tell the truth. Yep, that was a total rip-off of the original. Holly gets to the music hall too late, runs into Taxi Guy who shuts her down, and then runs into Santa who kind of taunts her with her impending punishment.

So, next day happens and she's realized that her ability to lie is gone. She's figured out what's happening  pretty damn fast actually. She goes to see her niece and the neice totally has this all figured out. The niece uses this hardcore to get an ice skating date. Afterwards, Holly hooks back up with Taxi Guy. I really should learn his name but his character is to be the two-dimensional love interest who is mainly there to be a love interest and be perfect.

So, Holly and Taxi Guy go to get a Christmas Tree. Turns out her parents died, sister raised her, and I noticed something. Her not-lieing dialogue reminds me heavily of Anya on Buffy. Just the matter of factness of it all. As a result, despite her being a total sociopath, I find myself liking her. You can tell she's still a sociopath because she's still having those embarrassing out pours instead of just telling the truth.

At work, Holly tells the client his bad is ugly. He likes that and she wins the client . Good for her. Her car also gets towed. Good for her. Holly and niece go skating and turns out her assistant lied about something earlier and they're good or something? Hell if I know.

Holly and Santa talk again. Holly explains everything to Santa which is followed up with caroling with Taxi Guy and the niece. I've never gotten people who go caroling at random houses in these movies. Maybe it's just a me thing.

Holly and Her sister have a talk, it's cute. Holly and Taxi Guy flirt, it's cute. Holly and The Client talk, the Client blackmails her into flying to Aspen, causing her to nearly break a date with Taxi Guy. It's obvious to everyone that The Client wants to perform some uncomfortable conduct in all of this. Because she can't not blurt crap out, she tells him everything which makes things super uncomfortable.

The Niece comes clean and Jerk!Santa refuses to change anything.  Taxi Guy, who got offered a new job, is less than perceptive as to what is going on. The Niece goes back to Santa and changes her wish out for something new. Holly tells her boss not to give her the promotion. Also, turns out that The Client is evil and was lying about all of his stuff being made in the USA. She tells all, gets the promotion, and sorts stuff out. It's a Christmas Miracle including Taxi Guy's flight getting canceled due to snow. Everyone's happy, good for them. This thing needs to end so hardcore.

So remember people: Santa will grant wishes that will mess with your life but it'll all turn out alright for you anyway. Unless you're rich. Then things will go badly for you because you were automatically evil.

Notable Commercials: I am absolutely in love with the Lady Gaga/Tony Curtis Barnes and Noble  commercial. Maybe it's being a Little Monster. Maybe it's loving Tony Curtis. Maybe it's just that they did a good album together.

Non-Viewing Thoughts: Dinner is sounding so awesome. I'll be sporadic at the beginning of the next two hours because of that. Ehh. Whatever.

Late Christmas Ideas: I saw a Toothless at Build a Bear the other day and it was so adorable. So, what I want is a Toothless. Not the stuffed one. A real one. I want a Nightfury!

Tally:
Mountain Dews left: 10
Amps left: 1
Coffee Left: All Gone
Pumpkin Pie Left: 1/2 left
Sanity Rating: (1 being A Tiny Lie, 10 being Watergate): 4

The Christmas Experiment 2015: Hours 23+24: Disney Parks Unforgettable Christmas Celebration

Viewing Thought: This is the first time watching this live in years. Robin Roberts is hosting. That's amazing. Ariana Grande is going to be on it. That's not as amazing. They have her singing "Zero to Hero" from Hercules which... that's not exactly the most notable song. Ehh, whatever. I'm already over this idiot.

It's a weird parade. We're also getting inspirational stories from families and the standard people with nothing to do with Disney singing.

I'm also happy that I have avoided Descendants so far somehow. Despite this, here we are with the cast singing a song. It's pretty mediocre. Like excessively mediocre. But Seal comes right after so something feels forgiven.

Bryce Dallas Howard is going to be in a remake of Pete's Dragon. How did I miss that? Also, the Princess Floats. Less excited. And now Ariana is back, talking. Least excited though at least Frankie is no where near by.

Maybe it's my current mental state, maybe it's the fact that the parade is almost an afterthought, but there really isn't that much to snark on or make fun of. Though Tori Kelly, who I had never heard of before today, is drawing some ire for singing a cover of "Colors of the Wind" that has all the passion of a rock.

Oh, more Ariana Grande. I could snark but I'll just flashback to one of my favorite TV moments of this year:

 

Ah, much better and just in time for Star Wars. Good times! Oh, and a very obviously staged proposal. Good times. Everything's over. Good. Was this unforgettable? Nope.

Notable Commercials: They just played my favorite trailer from Zootopia. Check it out. Do it now!

Non-Viewing Thoughts: I don't know if I'm feeling this. I've done my standard 24 hours but, now, I don't know if I've burnt myself out or what?

Late Christmas Ideas:I've been to Florida so many times and yet I've never actually been able to make it to Disney. I've pretty much given up hope on ever getting to go but it would be nice.

Tally:
Mountain Dews left: 10
Amps left: 1
Coffee Left: All Gone
Pumpkin Pie Left: 1/2 left
Sanity Rating: (1 being Mickey Mouse, 10 being Ricky Grouse): 6