YouTube is a very useful tool for fandom. If you need to find anything, with a bit of a look, you can find it. In addition to videos of dogs just yelping, your childhood can be reclaimed, even if you don't know that it is there to find. Today, let's look at the show Orson's Farm aka U.S. Acres. The show was actually a segment on the series Garfield and Friends. When I was younger it was the time I would go and get some toast. Now that I'm younger, I realize that it was a bit more mature than I remember. We had arguments on existentalism, censorship, politics, and enviromentalism ("The sky is falling!" "I knew it! ALL this tampering with the O-Zone layer!")
This particular episode is known as Déjà Vu and it pretty much sums up what I was just saying.
Yeah, we got existentalism and doubts about the very substance of reality as seen in the antics of a cartoon pig and his pals. Add in a bit of thought on the Aristotilian Unities and we got a winner.
Our other example, Kiddie Korner, is all about censorship. It also starts out with a scene of the cast re-enacting Doctor Zhivago. Yeah, it kind of rocks like that.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Crazy Crap From Japan
I cannot say enough that most of the weird crap from Japan that I've seen on YouTube is proof positive that radiation sickness can lead to insanity. Now, if you grew up in the early 90's, you were, no doubt, exposed to Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. As we all know, it was actually largely taken off of a Japanese show. The name of the show was Kyoryu Sentai Zyuranger and today we have a clip from said program which features the villains going into a song and dance number. Yeah, this still looks better than Spongebob.
The main villain of the season, The Witch Bandora (aka Rita Repulsa to the the fans of MMPR) had a theme song which she decides to sing. If that's not enough, about 0 episodes later, she decides to sing the song again with a A Chorus Line inspired dance at then end. This is also all done while bringing her palace, which is ontop of a Skycraper for some odd reason, into the middle of downtown Tokyo. Take a Look:
The main villain of the season, The Witch Bandora (aka Rita Repulsa to the the fans of MMPR) had a theme song which she decides to sing. If that's not enough, about 0 episodes later, she decides to sing the song again with a A Chorus Line inspired dance at then end. This is also all done while bringing her palace, which is ontop of a Skycraper for some odd reason, into the middle of downtown Tokyo. Take a Look:
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thanksgiving Experiment Conclusion
I made it as far as I could. I really can't go any longer. Oh well. Sorry
Thanksgiving Experiment Hours 13 and 14
Viewing Thoughts: So, half way point and working on making dinner so this will be slightly lacking. Let's focus on food.
Top Chef: A Thanksgiving episode. I know, something themed for the holiday. I'm just as surprised. The Quickfire Challenge is to make a soup after being told they were going to be working on a completely different recipe. Whatever. The point is the Elimination Challenge is making Thanksgiving Dinner for the Foo Fighters. I don't care for them but whatever. The two European Chefs get all pompous about claiming an American tradition. Fuck them. Insert anti-European Comment #13 here. Anyway, they also have nothing but Microwaves and a couple of burners to make stuff and it's all outside. I would be cursing up a storm about this point. Oh well. The food all looks better than what I'm making. Then it starts raining. Things get interesting and someone I like goes home. Figures.
Food Network Thanksgiving Leftovers: Basically, a lot of Food Network Hosts go into stuff to do with your leftovers. I might remember some of this since I know I will have left overs. I dunno, I don't have much to say.
Noted Commercials: So many Black Friday ads. Is it bad that I am doing a comic book Christmas Sale tomorrow instead of all these? I mean, there's a freaking DS package on sale.
Early Christmas Ideas: I always forget the Extra Virgin Olvie Oil is so usable in everything. I might have to get another bottle sometime. Just have nomral Olive Oil at the apartment.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: Ooooh, hitting that dizzy area of the sleep deprivation. So not good. I need to move onto the energy drink unless it's toxic shock from the soda. Who knows? I knew Diet Soda would be the end of me.
The Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 9
Energy Drinks Left: 3
Cups of Coffee Drank:0
Pie Consumed: 2 Slices
Sanity Rating( 1 being sane, 10 being Thanksgiving without Turkey): 7
Top Chef: A Thanksgiving episode. I know, something themed for the holiday. I'm just as surprised. The Quickfire Challenge is to make a soup after being told they were going to be working on a completely different recipe. Whatever. The point is the Elimination Challenge is making Thanksgiving Dinner for the Foo Fighters. I don't care for them but whatever. The two European Chefs get all pompous about claiming an American tradition. Fuck them. Insert anti-European Comment #13 here. Anyway, they also have nothing but Microwaves and a couple of burners to make stuff and it's all outside. I would be cursing up a storm about this point. Oh well. The food all looks better than what I'm making. Then it starts raining. Things get interesting and someone I like goes home. Figures.
Food Network Thanksgiving Leftovers: Basically, a lot of Food Network Hosts go into stuff to do with your leftovers. I might remember some of this since I know I will have left overs. I dunno, I don't have much to say.
Noted Commercials: So many Black Friday ads. Is it bad that I am doing a comic book Christmas Sale tomorrow instead of all these? I mean, there's a freaking DS package on sale.
Early Christmas Ideas: I always forget the Extra Virgin Olvie Oil is so usable in everything. I might have to get another bottle sometime. Just have nomral Olive Oil at the apartment.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: Ooooh, hitting that dizzy area of the sleep deprivation. So not good. I need to move onto the energy drink unless it's toxic shock from the soda. Who knows? I knew Diet Soda would be the end of me.
The Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 9
Energy Drinks Left: 3
Cups of Coffee Drank:0
Pie Consumed: 2 Slices
Sanity Rating( 1 being sane, 10 being Thanksgiving without Turkey): 7
The Thanksgiving Experiment hours 10-12
Viewing Thoughts: Matt Laurer and Meredith Viera are talking. I just want to know what crazy thing Willard Scott is going to do today. We get started off with Cheerleaders with like the weirdest remix of dance music ever. Like 50 dance songs playing at the same time and fighting it out for dominance. It's a nice warm up for the crappy musical section of the parade.
The first part of the musical section is the title song from "In the Heights." I mainly know this show because it's on the front cover of the Stage Tech book at work. It kind of sounds like musical theater. There's nothing wrong with that, it just isn't that remarkable to me. Sorry, the Broadway section just isn't that remarkable so I can't really say that much of anything to tell you the truth. Well, there is "South Pacific." Seriously, am I bad for hating Rodgers and Hamersteins? It's annoying to me.
So the further we go intp everything, the more certain I am that we are not going to see Willard Scott. Damnit! I need some insanity. So far, marching bands, a reminder of the dog show, and I did notice a few baloons that aren't quite inflated and...
Now we see one of two people who might make this parade worth it: Yeah, it's Miley! I really don't care, I just wanted to use that video. Sorry, back to the point.
So, some of the baloons this year are really lacking. The Smurfs is like one of the only real new balloons. It's also bad that I'm getting a second dose of Dora the Explorer. Then again, I kind of liked the Harijuku Girls float. It was cute and vaguely relevant. I love hearing the hosts talking about the Pikachu balloon. They are so obviously reading off of cards.
The thing I always find annoying also are the singers. They ride on floats that sometime have nothing to do with them. They then proceed to sing something and stop the parade so everyone can look at them. Most of the time they aren't even singing. Lip Synching. It's something else, espcially when they don't seem to novice everyone else still noticed. Miley (It's Miley) at least had a reason to be on the float she was on. She did a voice for a movie her's was promoting. I aloow that in one case farther down the list. Some chick from some crappy show was on a Build-A-Bear float and she's not even doing a good job of pretending she's singing.
So, half the muppets on the Sesame Street float, I don't even recognize. Most of the humans were the same but really old. It's nice to know they're still getting work. You can really tell originals from newer ones. I do find one thing disturning: No Grover. I loved Grover. The fact that Grover is so easily forgotten for a freaking Fairy muppet is just infuriating.
Now for the thing that makes the whole thing worth it: the Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends float got Rick-Rolled! They're sing some song on the float and then... "Never Going to Give you up!" OMG!!! That so rocked. That made watching this entire thing so freaking worth it. Sure, some people didn't get the joke but then Cheese said, "I love Rick-Rolling." Forgive the quality of the video. It was the best I could find:
So, it was worth, even if there was no Willard Scott.
Noted Commercials:So, there's a Macy's ad about there being a Santa Claus and Donald Trump and Martha Stewart are talking in it. Umm, if I had to pick out two people who don't smack of greed, It would definitely not be those two. So very eww. I could see Donald Trump sending kids Donald Trump dolls who just say mean things.
Early Christmas Ideas: Bravo has a Top Chef shirt on their website that says "I Have a Culinary Boner" I would so wear that everyplace.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: Rickrolling is awesome. The sheer fact that an internet meme has seeped that far into the public conciousness just screams pure rocknitude! It is true that geeks are intended to inherit the Earth.
The Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 9
Energy Drinks Left: 4
Cups of Coffee Drank:0
Pie Consumed: 2 Slices
Sanity Rating( 1 being sane, 10 being Willard Scott): 6
The first part of the musical section is the title song from "In the Heights." I mainly know this show because it's on the front cover of the Stage Tech book at work. It kind of sounds like musical theater. There's nothing wrong with that, it just isn't that remarkable to me. Sorry, the Broadway section just isn't that remarkable so I can't really say that much of anything to tell you the truth. Well, there is "South Pacific." Seriously, am I bad for hating Rodgers and Hamersteins? It's annoying to me.
So the further we go intp everything, the more certain I am that we are not going to see Willard Scott. Damnit! I need some insanity. So far, marching bands, a reminder of the dog show, and I did notice a few baloons that aren't quite inflated and...
Now we see one of two people who might make this parade worth it: Yeah, it's Miley! I really don't care, I just wanted to use that video. Sorry, back to the point.
So, some of the baloons this year are really lacking. The Smurfs is like one of the only real new balloons. It's also bad that I'm getting a second dose of Dora the Explorer. Then again, I kind of liked the Harijuku Girls float. It was cute and vaguely relevant. I love hearing the hosts talking about the Pikachu balloon. They are so obviously reading off of cards.
The thing I always find annoying also are the singers. They ride on floats that sometime have nothing to do with them. They then proceed to sing something and stop the parade so everyone can look at them. Most of the time they aren't even singing. Lip Synching. It's something else, espcially when they don't seem to novice everyone else still noticed. Miley (It's Miley) at least had a reason to be on the float she was on. She did a voice for a movie her's was promoting. I aloow that in one case farther down the list. Some chick from some crappy show was on a Build-A-Bear float and she's not even doing a good job of pretending she's singing.
So, half the muppets on the Sesame Street float, I don't even recognize. Most of the humans were the same but really old. It's nice to know they're still getting work. You can really tell originals from newer ones. I do find one thing disturning: No Grover. I loved Grover. The fact that Grover is so easily forgotten for a freaking Fairy muppet is just infuriating.
Now for the thing that makes the whole thing worth it: the Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends float got Rick-Rolled! They're sing some song on the float and then... "Never Going to Give you up!" OMG!!! That so rocked. That made watching this entire thing so freaking worth it. Sure, some people didn't get the joke but then Cheese said, "I love Rick-Rolling." Forgive the quality of the video. It was the best I could find:
So, it was worth, even if there was no Willard Scott.
Noted Commercials:So, there's a Macy's ad about there being a Santa Claus and Donald Trump and Martha Stewart are talking in it. Umm, if I had to pick out two people who don't smack of greed, It would definitely not be those two. So very eww. I could see Donald Trump sending kids Donald Trump dolls who just say mean things.
Early Christmas Ideas: Bravo has a Top Chef shirt on their website that says "I Have a Culinary Boner" I would so wear that everyplace.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: Rickrolling is awesome. The sheer fact that an internet meme has seeped that far into the public conciousness just screams pure rocknitude! It is true that geeks are intended to inherit the Earth.
The Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 9
Energy Drinks Left: 4
Cups of Coffee Drank:0
Pie Consumed: 2 Slices
Sanity Rating( 1 being sane, 10 being Willard Scott): 6
Thanksgiving Experiment Hour 8+9
Viewing Thoughts: Two hours of QVC. I am definitely going out of it. Since thye just have too much to talk about, let's just touch on the stuff that seems remarkable or remarkably stupid. First item is the Adjustable Dreamer Light Show Projector. It's a mini-Half-Disco Ball that projects lights on the wall. A woman with an 11-year old grand daughter is getting it. She thinks she'll be in awe of it. Yeah, she'll be thinking, "Why does grandma hate me? Maybe she needs to go to the home sooner than mommy wanted to send her!" Next up is a slinky. It's a slinky with a lishgt up mechanism in it. I have no real comment for that. The hosts on the other hand seems obsessed with making you think that this will be the next best thing. Doubtful. So, the focus of the show right now is toys. They decided to cut into it though with a faux fur coat. This guy with white hair is just trying to make you buy it. I bet he has hypnotic powers. If you don't buy it, I bet he'll kell some animals and start sneaking it into the coats. Oh yes, he will. He has the look. He also seems to be very eager to help the women put on the coats. Perverts are funny! The sad thing is people are up this morning, buying these jackets. Dear god they're crazy!
So, there's this baby doll on here that look kind of creepy. They're like the creepy kids in Polar Express. I'm looking at them and I see that gleam of world domination behind their cold dead eyes. Oh, they don't fool Will. The lady on the line is going on and on about how her granddaughter will love it because it'll be like having a real baby. Yeah, granddaughter will probably get preggers first chance she gets thanks to this. They still aren't quite as evil as this: That laugh will haunt your dreams for the rest of your life! HA!!!
Noted Commercials: It's home shopping. It's all commercials. Yeah, it's kinda like that.
Early Christmas Ideas: I want a hippopotamus for Christmas. Not really but Cheese that's a terrible song.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: I wish I had some hot cocoa.
The Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 10
Energy Drinks Left: 4
Cups of Coffee Drank:0
Pie Consumed: 1 Slice
Sanity Rating( 1 being sane, 10 being someone who thinks they're getting a good deal on QVC): 6
So, there's this baby doll on here that look kind of creepy. They're like the creepy kids in Polar Express. I'm looking at them and I see that gleam of world domination behind their cold dead eyes. Oh, they don't fool Will. The lady on the line is going on and on about how her granddaughter will love it because it'll be like having a real baby. Yeah, granddaughter will probably get preggers first chance she gets thanks to this. They still aren't quite as evil as this: That laugh will haunt your dreams for the rest of your life! HA!!!
Noted Commercials: It's home shopping. It's all commercials. Yeah, it's kinda like that.
Early Christmas Ideas: I want a hippopotamus for Christmas. Not really but Cheese that's a terrible song.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: I wish I had some hot cocoa.
The Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 10
Energy Drinks Left: 4
Cups of Coffee Drank:0
Pie Consumed: 1 Slice
Sanity Rating( 1 being sane, 10 being someone who thinks they're getting a good deal on QVC): 6
The Thanksgiving Experiment Hour 6+7
Viewing Thoughts: Time for me to go a little mental.
TMZ: So, I'm watching TMZ. TMZ is like ET or Access Hollywood only with no morals and for people with the attention spans of a epileptic with Tourette's and ADHD. Basically, they say stuff and annoy celebrities for the heck of it. I mean, I have no problem with this normally but at the same time, they're a bunch of dumbasses because everyone of the so called reporters seems to delight in mocking people. I really can't find anything redeemable about this at all. Do these people act like this at hime? Some people only wish they could be this morally reprehensable. I would like to track these people down, take pictures of them, and just mock them to their faces. Maybe that's what I'll do for Charity. That and horribly main them. I mean, I don't care for Twilight but when you yell at the stars for all being gay, that's beyond stupid. Damn I sound like a good person. This all makes me sicker than TMZ has made me.
Full House: Yeah, this isn't going to be much better. It's a later season episode because there are those evil twins. I always convinced that Aunt Becky and Uncle Jesse's twins would someday become pure evil lords of the damned. Anyway, this episode, Unlce Jesse made some device to keep hair spray out of people's faces which leads Joey and Danny Tanner to decide to market the device out. Meanwhile, DJ's boyfriend is cheating on him or soemthing. Who the hell knows? Anyway around, everything gets wrapped up and everyone is happy at the end/ Just once, I'd like to see someone on this show get real lasting mental scarring.
Dora the Explorer: Yes, Dora the little CokeMule. In this episode, Dora lost her teddy bear. The map knows where her teddy bear is so that makes me suspicous. I suspect the map for stealing it so he could be useful. Yes, I do see conspiracies in everything. So sue me.
Early Christmas Ideas: A gas powered toothburch.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: Is it bad when I think I'm a better person than someone else? Yeah, I thought so.
The Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 11
Energy Drinks Left: 4
Cups of Coffee Drank:0
Pie Consumed: 1 Slice
Sanity Rating( 1 being sane, 10 being someone who actually thinks Dora is talking to them): 5
TMZ: So, I'm watching TMZ. TMZ is like ET or Access Hollywood only with no morals and for people with the attention spans of a epileptic with Tourette's and ADHD. Basically, they say stuff and annoy celebrities for the heck of it. I mean, I have no problem with this normally but at the same time, they're a bunch of dumbasses because everyone of the so called reporters seems to delight in mocking people. I really can't find anything redeemable about this at all. Do these people act like this at hime? Some people only wish they could be this morally reprehensable. I would like to track these people down, take pictures of them, and just mock them to their faces. Maybe that's what I'll do for Charity. That and horribly main them. I mean, I don't care for Twilight but when you yell at the stars for all being gay, that's beyond stupid. Damn I sound like a good person. This all makes me sicker than TMZ has made me.
Full House: Yeah, this isn't going to be much better. It's a later season episode because there are those evil twins. I always convinced that Aunt Becky and Uncle Jesse's twins would someday become pure evil lords of the damned. Anyway, this episode, Unlce Jesse made some device to keep hair spray out of people's faces which leads Joey and Danny Tanner to decide to market the device out. Meanwhile, DJ's boyfriend is cheating on him or soemthing. Who the hell knows? Anyway around, everything gets wrapped up and everyone is happy at the end/ Just once, I'd like to see someone on this show get real lasting mental scarring.
Dora the Explorer: Yes, Dora the little CokeMule. In this episode, Dora lost her teddy bear. The map knows where her teddy bear is so that makes me suspicous. I suspect the map for stealing it so he could be useful. Yes, I do see conspiracies in everything. So sue me.
Early Christmas Ideas: A gas powered toothburch.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: Is it bad when I think I'm a better person than someone else? Yeah, I thought so.
The Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 11
Energy Drinks Left: 4
Cups of Coffee Drank:0
Pie Consumed: 1 Slice
Sanity Rating( 1 being sane, 10 being someone who actually thinks Dora is talking to them): 5
The Thanksgiving Experiment: Hours 4+5
Viewing Thoughts: So, we're watching The Crow 4: Wicked Prayers on Sci-Fi. Oh yeah, here comes the self abuse. Edward Furlong, Tara Reid, David Boreaniz, and Dennis Hopper are in the movie. We open with some reservation. Indians are shut out of something but white guys. The norm.. Anyway, guy with a truck and a jug of Toxic Waste pops up and he beats people up and He's one of the 4 Horsemen or something... Yeah, so far no sense to this movie and I'm assuming that will be continueing. Turns out it's just a plot to free Angel from prision. He's obviously evil because he gives people evil looks and looks meanly at a church. In some heavy handed film making, we here some preacher on the radio and are then introduced to the hero, who will obviously die soon so he can start inpersonating a member of Kiss. Some chick then goes and reiterates the thing that anyone who has seen the first 3 movies knows about The Crow and she makes out with the soon to be deceased. Since originality means nothing to the film makers, I bet she's dead soon also. Anyway, people don't approve because Edward Furlong, the soon to be really dead but resurected, likes the soon to be dead but not resurrected, who is Indian. Geez, I wonder how much longer until this becomes a very special story about tolernece.
So, Edward is going to propose to the very soon to be deader than dead when he gets harrased by a cop. He goes to her place and ther's Tara Reid and the gay Horsemen of the Apocalypse. How do you know they're gay? Mardi Gras Masks. If you thought they were supposed to be threatening, then they did kind of a bad job. Anyway, the chick gets killed by Tara Reid, who steals an eye and I guess is sacraficing them to Satan. Anyway, Tara Reid says some bad poetry and now Angel has a happy 666 tattooed on him. You know, you don;'t need to sacrafice someone to Baal everytime you want some Ink. A needle will suffice.
Anyway, The Four Horsemen of Fabouslousness and Tara Reid all sit around. To show they're evil, they eat Devil's Food Cake and Deviled Eggs. Yeah, you know, this is ineffective evil. They decide to do drugs instead of doing real evil. The Finally Dead and Edward Furlong are having a dream when Eddy comes back to life with Susie the Crow in the most melodramatic fashion he can. He cries like a whiny bitch and holds a toaster like it's a baby. Maybe ineffective evil stands a chance. He goes back to the scene of the murder and cries a lot, tries to shoot himself and then doesn't die. Damn. Susie says fuck this all and flies off. Eddy the Whiny then douses his place in gasoline and sets it on fire while getting ready for The Kiss Costume Party. Susie has nothing better to do so she comes with. Stupid Cop finds the body. Geez, I didn't see that coming.
The cororner is eating a sandwich and taking the body away. Meanwhile, The Faboulous Horsemen and Tara Reid go to a wedding looking for a virgin to sacrafice and instead terrorize a wedding and a priest who apparently used to be a murderer or something. I dunno, it's kind of unclear. Regardless, he's dead and the wedding goes all levels of murder.
Susie is outside a bar. One of the Faboulous Horsemen, Pestilence, is inside, getting some drugs. Whiny McKiss shows up also to beat him up. We get a badly choreograpped fight that results in one less horseman. It's all rather dumb to tell you the truth.
With one down, Kissy McPissy and Susie grab a hearse with the body and the dead chick. Meanwhile, the tribal council cries about dead chick. They decide to try to take out the last place Kiss Look-A-Like themslevves.
The Now Three Horsemen and Tara Reid go to a dance and decide to kill some more people. Kissy McDumbington finds the dead wedding with one living inhabitant. He consoles her and it's all very touching in a very stupid way. They priest is still alive also, proving ineffective evil is just that. Stupid. Oh, and Kissy killed the priest and wife's son. I guess it makes him dark and mysterious. No. Not really.
Meanwhile, back at the dance, the Faboulous Horsemen start killing people while Kissy McDumbass shows up to beat them up. Apparently something to do with a dance. It's still pretty dumb. Angel wonders if he killed him. Tara Reid apparently saw the last couple of movies and knows he's the Crow. Good for her. TiVO does wonders when you're an evil villain. They all sit down and have a nice little talk. People shoot at Kissalina and Susie gets killed. Really? You know, Susie really didn't deserve that. Susie had the right idea to leave earlier but nope, Tara Reid starts getting all sad while people get murdered. I wonder if she thought she was going to be signing up with the kind of Satanist who just know on your door and leave poop?
Turns out the dumb cop is the brother of the dead chick. Kissy Mc StupidPants touches Dumb Cop and somehow psychicly tells him who killed Dead Chick. Makes even less sense. than anything else so far.
So, The Three Gay Amigos and Tara Reid go to a Satanic Church with a virgin so Angel and Tara Reid can get married. Oh, and I guess the Satanic Church is a brothel also with Dennis Hopper as the Pimp El Nino. I can not make this up. Oh, guess Angel is going to become Satan. Here I just thought everyone was being stupid as all hell for ne reason. Meanwhile, the cops are all getting ready to assault Out Unholy Mother of Hookers and Tara Reid. I wish I could paraphrase the wedding scene. It's like a Vegas wedding only with a Satanic Elvis doing it. This movie really can't get worse if it tries.
So, the cops are outside and one of the Dumbass Horsemen are outside in red pajamas and dynamite. They start shooting each other while the worse theme wedding ever goes on inside. Hookers get shot up. El Nino uses the words Badassnitude. I wish I could make this up. Instead, cops just shoot at the guy wearing dynamite pajamas. People get sacraficed, , wedding goes on, Angel and Tara Reid are declared "Satan and Shorty"and Tara Reid stabs Angel.. Someone blows up and Angel comes back to life as Satan I guess. The problem is that he's still ineffective evil, no matter what way you slice it. How do we know this? He doesn'tkill Kissy mcNeverDie. He just ties him up. El Nino is still doing his faux gangster thing and Satan and Tara Reid run off to have sex or something while the Indian Tribe just kind of stands there watching. Yeah, they're effective. Still not clear on anything going on here. Did one of the Faboulous Horsemen die when I wasn't caring?
The Leasst Effective Mob ever goes into Out Unholy Mother of Skanitude to rescue Sissy Kissy. He seems to be alright and heads off to fight the Devil and Mrs. Reid. Oh, and the priest in the mob has magic healing powers that are activated through shirtless dancing. Yeah, this seriously can't get worse. Anyway, The Single Fabouslous Horseman and Tara Reid start having sex in the graveyard when Not-Jean Simmons shows up. Satangel gets magic speed powers while Tara Reid looks for a spell of happy fun. The Mob Preist heals the dead crow with his man boob dance and now almost Peter Criss is all better. The Sun Rises and the magic Satan Powers go away. The Single Gay Horseman dies while monologueing, Tara Reid goes for one of those last second mercy begs, and everyone's happy. Well, except Dead Chick. She's still dead.
Noted Commercials: They've had the same commercial for Male Enlargement like 5 times. In all of them, old guy talks about having sex with his shriveled wife who then goes into how she didn't know much bigger was better. I seriously cannot make this shit up. I kind of just threw up a little.
Early Christmas Ideas: A promise from everyone on Earth that there will never be another sequel to The Crow. Is that too much to ask? Probably
Non-Viewing Thoughts: Why do people watch the movies on the SciFi channel? They have about the same production values as something Direct to Video but at least the DTV movies aren't aspiring for something more. I'm just waiting for Pirate Cowboy Mummies. Then I know they aren't even tring to make good movies. They will just be making stuff people will watch because it's so bad.
The Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 11
Energy Drinks Left: 4
Cups of Coffee Drank:0
Pie Consumed: 1 Slice
Sanity Rating( 1 being sane, 10 being someone who enjoys a movie on the SCIFi Channel): 6
So, Edward is going to propose to the very soon to be deader than dead when he gets harrased by a cop. He goes to her place and ther's Tara Reid and the gay Horsemen of the Apocalypse. How do you know they're gay? Mardi Gras Masks. If you thought they were supposed to be threatening, then they did kind of a bad job. Anyway, the chick gets killed by Tara Reid, who steals an eye and I guess is sacraficing them to Satan. Anyway, Tara Reid says some bad poetry and now Angel has a happy 666 tattooed on him. You know, you don;'t need to sacrafice someone to Baal everytime you want some Ink. A needle will suffice.
Anyway, The Four Horsemen of Fabouslousness and Tara Reid all sit around. To show they're evil, they eat Devil's Food Cake and Deviled Eggs. Yeah, you know, this is ineffective evil. They decide to do drugs instead of doing real evil. The Finally Dead and Edward Furlong are having a dream when Eddy comes back to life with Susie the Crow in the most melodramatic fashion he can. He cries like a whiny bitch and holds a toaster like it's a baby. Maybe ineffective evil stands a chance. He goes back to the scene of the murder and cries a lot, tries to shoot himself and then doesn't die. Damn. Susie says fuck this all and flies off. Eddy the Whiny then douses his place in gasoline and sets it on fire while getting ready for The Kiss Costume Party. Susie has nothing better to do so she comes with. Stupid Cop finds the body. Geez, I didn't see that coming.
The cororner is eating a sandwich and taking the body away. Meanwhile, The Faboulous Horsemen and Tara Reid go to a wedding looking for a virgin to sacrafice and instead terrorize a wedding and a priest who apparently used to be a murderer or something. I dunno, it's kind of unclear. Regardless, he's dead and the wedding goes all levels of murder.
Susie is outside a bar. One of the Faboulous Horsemen, Pestilence, is inside, getting some drugs. Whiny McKiss shows up also to beat him up. We get a badly choreograpped fight that results in one less horseman. It's all rather dumb to tell you the truth.
With one down, Kissy McPissy and Susie grab a hearse with the body and the dead chick. Meanwhile, the tribal council cries about dead chick. They decide to try to take out the last place Kiss Look-A-Like themslevves.
The Now Three Horsemen and Tara Reid go to a dance and decide to kill some more people. Kissy McDumbington finds the dead wedding with one living inhabitant. He consoles her and it's all very touching in a very stupid way. They priest is still alive also, proving ineffective evil is just that. Stupid. Oh, and Kissy killed the priest and wife's son. I guess it makes him dark and mysterious. No. Not really.
Meanwhile, back at the dance, the Faboulous Horsemen start killing people while Kissy McDumbass shows up to beat them up. Apparently something to do with a dance. It's still pretty dumb. Angel wonders if he killed him. Tara Reid apparently saw the last couple of movies and knows he's the Crow. Good for her. TiVO does wonders when you're an evil villain. They all sit down and have a nice little talk. People shoot at Kissalina and Susie gets killed. Really? You know, Susie really didn't deserve that. Susie had the right idea to leave earlier but nope, Tara Reid starts getting all sad while people get murdered. I wonder if she thought she was going to be signing up with the kind of Satanist who just know on your door and leave poop?
Turns out the dumb cop is the brother of the dead chick. Kissy Mc StupidPants touches Dumb Cop and somehow psychicly tells him who killed Dead Chick. Makes even less sense. than anything else so far.
So, The Three Gay Amigos and Tara Reid go to a Satanic Church with a virgin so Angel and Tara Reid can get married. Oh, and I guess the Satanic Church is a brothel also with Dennis Hopper as the Pimp El Nino. I can not make this up. Oh, guess Angel is going to become Satan. Here I just thought everyone was being stupid as all hell for ne reason. Meanwhile, the cops are all getting ready to assault Out Unholy Mother of Hookers and Tara Reid. I wish I could paraphrase the wedding scene. It's like a Vegas wedding only with a Satanic Elvis doing it. This movie really can't get worse if it tries.
So, the cops are outside and one of the Dumbass Horsemen are outside in red pajamas and dynamite. They start shooting each other while the worse theme wedding ever goes on inside. Hookers get shot up. El Nino uses the words Badassnitude. I wish I could make this up. Instead, cops just shoot at the guy wearing dynamite pajamas. People get sacraficed, , wedding goes on, Angel and Tara Reid are declared "Satan and Shorty"and Tara Reid stabs Angel.. Someone blows up and Angel comes back to life as Satan I guess. The problem is that he's still ineffective evil, no matter what way you slice it. How do we know this? He doesn'tkill Kissy mcNeverDie. He just ties him up. El Nino is still doing his faux gangster thing and Satan and Tara Reid run off to have sex or something while the Indian Tribe just kind of stands there watching. Yeah, they're effective. Still not clear on anything going on here. Did one of the Faboulous Horsemen die when I wasn't caring?
The Leasst Effective Mob ever goes into Out Unholy Mother of Skanitude to rescue Sissy Kissy. He seems to be alright and heads off to fight the Devil and Mrs. Reid. Oh, and the priest in the mob has magic healing powers that are activated through shirtless dancing. Yeah, this seriously can't get worse. Anyway, The Single Fabouslous Horseman and Tara Reid start having sex in the graveyard when Not-Jean Simmons shows up. Satangel gets magic speed powers while Tara Reid looks for a spell of happy fun. The Mob Preist heals the dead crow with his man boob dance and now almost Peter Criss is all better. The Sun Rises and the magic Satan Powers go away. The Single Gay Horseman dies while monologueing, Tara Reid goes for one of those last second mercy begs, and everyone's happy. Well, except Dead Chick. She's still dead.
Noted Commercials: They've had the same commercial for Male Enlargement like 5 times. In all of them, old guy talks about having sex with his shriveled wife who then goes into how she didn't know much bigger was better. I seriously cannot make this shit up. I kind of just threw up a little.
Early Christmas Ideas: A promise from everyone on Earth that there will never be another sequel to The Crow. Is that too much to ask? Probably
Non-Viewing Thoughts: Why do people watch the movies on the SciFi channel? They have about the same production values as something Direct to Video but at least the DTV movies aren't aspiring for something more. I'm just waiting for Pirate Cowboy Mummies. Then I know they aren't even tring to make good movies. They will just be making stuff people will watch because it's so bad.
The Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 11
Energy Drinks Left: 4
Cups of Coffee Drank:0
Pie Consumed: 1 Slice
Sanity Rating( 1 being sane, 10 being someone who enjoys a movie on the SCIFi Channel): 6
The Thanksgiving Experiment: Hour 2+3
Viewing Thoughts: Star Trek Time. Yeah, Will is getting his geek on!
Star Trek Voyager: We start off with a delightful episode of Voyager in which the token Vulcan is stranded on a planet with a bunch of kids. Yeah, this is going to be good the sarcastic Will said. Now, my favorite Trek is Voyager but like it for the women. The women were always strong while the men on the show were kind of subservient to them. Instead, I get an episode with a male Vulcan, kids, and Religious Fanatic Aliens (RFAs). Yeah, the kids are getting sacrificed to a monster thing by the RFAs. Tuvok, the vulcan gets all fatherly with them. Captain Janeway decides she's not going to take any shit and goes to rescue the plot and the vulcan. Anyway, the RFAs turn into kids when they're old rather than getting all wrinkly so the Vulcan was interfering for the no real reason because the monster is... OLD AGE!!! Yeah, it's a boring episode. Hopefully DS9 can get more of a reaction out of me.
Star Trek Deep Space Nine: I could say something insightful but instead, one thing comes to mind: Oh my god! What is up with the clothing in Star Trek? The Romulians are wearing huge shoulder pads! They could make a woman from the eighties blush! Anyway, the episode has to do with one of the characters just randomly have visions of the future and he sees the Space Station go boom. There's also plenty of the political stuff that makes DS9 hard to get into. Yeah, doing Star Trek was so not a good idea.
Noted Commercials: I saw a commercial for Girls Gone Wild. During Star Trek. Yeah, they know their target audience. Desperate Straight Nerds. Girls Gone Wild isn't even real porn. Real porn involves people who are completely aware of what they're doing. Girls Gone Wild is exploitation. Why isn't there a Guys Gone Wild for that matter? Oh well, it happens. It's all good though. The guy who foundedthe company is in jail because apparently he doesn't like paying his taxes. Yeah, things must be might wild for him where he is now.
Early Christmas Ideas: A cloaking device. Hello unlimited access to the homes of the celebrities!
Non-Viewing Thoughts: This entry kind of sucked. I'll make it up to you all. I'm watching a movie on the sci-fi channel next!
The Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 11
Energy Drinks Left: 4
Cups of Coffee Drank:0
Pie Consumed: 1 Slice
Sanity Rating( 1 being sane, 10 being a per sonwho can fully comprehend a Star Trek Time travel episode): 4
Star Trek Voyager: We start off with a delightful episode of Voyager in which the token Vulcan is stranded on a planet with a bunch of kids. Yeah, this is going to be good the sarcastic Will said. Now, my favorite Trek is Voyager but like it for the women. The women were always strong while the men on the show were kind of subservient to them. Instead, I get an episode with a male Vulcan, kids, and Religious Fanatic Aliens (RFAs). Yeah, the kids are getting sacrificed to a monster thing by the RFAs. Tuvok, the vulcan gets all fatherly with them. Captain Janeway decides she's not going to take any shit and goes to rescue the plot and the vulcan. Anyway, the RFAs turn into kids when they're old rather than getting all wrinkly so the Vulcan was interfering for the no real reason because the monster is... OLD AGE!!! Yeah, it's a boring episode. Hopefully DS9 can get more of a reaction out of me.
Star Trek Deep Space Nine: I could say something insightful but instead, one thing comes to mind: Oh my god! What is up with the clothing in Star Trek? The Romulians are wearing huge shoulder pads! They could make a woman from the eighties blush! Anyway, the episode has to do with one of the characters just randomly have visions of the future and he sees the Space Station go boom. There's also plenty of the political stuff that makes DS9 hard to get into. Yeah, doing Star Trek was so not a good idea.
Noted Commercials: I saw a commercial for Girls Gone Wild. During Star Trek. Yeah, they know their target audience. Desperate Straight Nerds. Girls Gone Wild isn't even real porn. Real porn involves people who are completely aware of what they're doing. Girls Gone Wild is exploitation. Why isn't there a Guys Gone Wild for that matter? Oh well, it happens. It's all good though. The guy who foundedthe company is in jail because apparently he doesn't like paying his taxes. Yeah, things must be might wild for him where he is now.
Early Christmas Ideas: A cloaking device. Hello unlimited access to the homes of the celebrities!
Non-Viewing Thoughts: This entry kind of sucked. I'll make it up to you all. I'm watching a movie on the sci-fi channel next!
The Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 11
Energy Drinks Left: 4
Cups of Coffee Drank:0
Pie Consumed: 1 Slice
Sanity Rating( 1 being sane, 10 being a per sonwho can fully comprehend a Star Trek Time travel episode): 4
The Thanksgiving Experiment: Hour 1
Viewing Thoughts: So, to start off, watching some basic cable crap-o-rama.
Sex and the City: Gay men and straight women are supposed to love this show. I don't for whatever reason. Anyway, Sarah Jessica Parker (or SJP) is in a runway show and some stuff happens. There is talk of vaginas and stuff. It all kind of grosses me out. Oh, and there's Margaret Cho! All gay men love Margaret Cho. It's in our blood. So, yeah, this is not wasted despite the fact that SJH is so... scary... Wow, Heidi Klum used to be so not as hot. One of the things I've also noticed is that it's on TBS so you can't see any of the nudity. I wouldn't care except that they're sloppy edits. Anyone who has half a dot in perception could notice it. Oh well, on to the next punishment.
Get it Sold: HGTV. Yes, nothing on crazy people and their lawns (That was the thing that broke me last year if you care to go back and read it.) Instead, a bunch of people are trying to sell their kind of crappy house of 600k. The focus of the show is getting it ready to be sold to stupid people who don't realize they just bought a piece of crap. The problem I have with this show is that they're redecorating the house so that the people coming in find it more attractive. Why? If anything, I would trick the people on the show into renovating my house and then just not move out. Feign that I'm more interested than I am. Anyway, the hostess is this insufferable bitch who finds a problem with everything and the people selling the house just go along with it. No backbone. I like to think this lady's husband must be afraid to say anything or else she'll start telling him how his face is all wrong and then do some elective surgery on him that makes him look like the pig people on the Eye of the Beholder episode of The Twilight Zone. So, does the family sell their house? Well, some people talk incincerly abot the features, espeiclaly the stuff that the annoying lady made the family change. So, they get an offer and their asking price. Damn, I wanted them to get half and the hostess get that shoved in her face!
Noted Commercials: OMG, there's this commercial for GameStop on gifts for gamers and some of the stuff rocks. There was an orc head in there. Hell, for that matter, the orc head was a live and some woman was wrapping it up. Yeah, it's kind of like that. The only way it could have rocked more is if the Weighted Companion Cube was in there. Who wouldn't want a weighted companion cube? I would!
Early Christmas Ideas: Some fake houseplants. Not because I would use it or find it attractive, but because I could so see using it as an improptu weapon.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: Does the geek in Will suppress the gay? This is something I wonder on a regular basis. Hell, I'm kind of bi at times. The one chick I've slept with (she will remain nameless) was kind of nice, too soft. Men have this... interesting hardness to them (not like that). Maybe I should try chicks again someday. Then again, if I do that, I go from being the straightest gay guy I know to just plain straight. I lose a bit of what makes me me. Yeah, I'll probably stick with guys for now.
The Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 12
Energy Drinks Left: 4
Cups of Coffee Drank:0
Pie Consumed: 0 Slices
Sanity Rating( 1 being sane, 10 being a triple header of Sex and the City, High School Musical, and Twilight): 4
Sex and the City: Gay men and straight women are supposed to love this show. I don't for whatever reason. Anyway, Sarah Jessica Parker (or SJP) is in a runway show and some stuff happens. There is talk of vaginas and stuff. It all kind of grosses me out. Oh, and there's Margaret Cho! All gay men love Margaret Cho. It's in our blood. So, yeah, this is not wasted despite the fact that SJH is so... scary... Wow, Heidi Klum used to be so not as hot. One of the things I've also noticed is that it's on TBS so you can't see any of the nudity. I wouldn't care except that they're sloppy edits. Anyone who has half a dot in perception could notice it. Oh well, on to the next punishment.
Get it Sold: HGTV. Yes, nothing on crazy people and their lawns (That was the thing that broke me last year if you care to go back and read it.) Instead, a bunch of people are trying to sell their kind of crappy house of 600k. The focus of the show is getting it ready to be sold to stupid people who don't realize they just bought a piece of crap. The problem I have with this show is that they're redecorating the house so that the people coming in find it more attractive. Why? If anything, I would trick the people on the show into renovating my house and then just not move out. Feign that I'm more interested than I am. Anyway, the hostess is this insufferable bitch who finds a problem with everything and the people selling the house just go along with it. No backbone. I like to think this lady's husband must be afraid to say anything or else she'll start telling him how his face is all wrong and then do some elective surgery on him that makes him look like the pig people on the Eye of the Beholder episode of The Twilight Zone. So, does the family sell their house? Well, some people talk incincerly abot the features, espeiclaly the stuff that the annoying lady made the family change. So, they get an offer and their asking price. Damn, I wanted them to get half and the hostess get that shoved in her face!
Noted Commercials: OMG, there's this commercial for GameStop on gifts for gamers and some of the stuff rocks. There was an orc head in there. Hell, for that matter, the orc head was a live and some woman was wrapping it up. Yeah, it's kind of like that. The only way it could have rocked more is if the Weighted Companion Cube was in there. Who wouldn't want a weighted companion cube? I would!
Early Christmas Ideas: Some fake houseplants. Not because I would use it or find it attractive, but because I could so see using it as an improptu weapon.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: Does the geek in Will suppress the gay? This is something I wonder on a regular basis. Hell, I'm kind of bi at times. The one chick I've slept with (she will remain nameless) was kind of nice, too soft. Men have this... interesting hardness to them (not like that). Maybe I should try chicks again someday. Then again, if I do that, I go from being the straightest gay guy I know to just plain straight. I lose a bit of what makes me me. Yeah, I'll probably stick with guys for now.
The Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 12
Energy Drinks Left: 4
Cups of Coffee Drank:0
Pie Consumed: 0 Slices
Sanity Rating( 1 being sane, 10 being a triple header of Sex and the City, High School Musical, and Twilight): 4
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
The Thanksgiving Experiment: Pre-Game
So, we're getting ready to start. I have 4 cans of AMP, 12 cans of Mountain Dew, Coffee, and 5/6th of a pumpkin pie. I skipped out on the nap so the sleep timer is, as of about right now, 17 hours of awakedness.Now it's all a matter of finding the first thing to watch. I think I'll check out some TVLand. Should be something delightfully cheesy. If not, then maybe Public Access has something to offer. 9 Hours to the Macy's parade.
Friday, November 21, 2008
The Thanksgiving Experiemnt Update
So, I was going pick up a case of the Jones Soda Holiday pack and try taste testing it for you all during the Thanksgiving Experiment but they aren't doing it this year. Instead, they're going for stuff people might actually like to drink. Basically, fruity flavors instead of Pine Tree and Turkey and Gravy flavored soda. What the hell? That's stupid. I mean, you sell the stuff for a reason. It's because Jones is famous for doing this kind of messed up stuff. They sell soda that no one in their right mind would drink so that's why it sells. Screw it all, I'll just go to my other idea. I'm going to buy a Pumpkin Pie and just eat it over the course of the day.
Monday, November 3, 2008
The Thanksgiving Experiment Preview 1
So, looking forword to the big even in a couple of weeks. I have checked two of the networks schedules so far. SCIFI Channel seems to be having a movie day, nothing with giant turkeys unluckily, but for whatever reason, there's Bond movies on SCIFI. I know most of them are kind of far out there in terms of reality, but I would never classify James Bond as Sci Fi. So many things wrong with this.
TCM is having a musical theme going on. That makes me feel really gay because I would be half loking forword to that if not for the sheer stupidity of it all. Well, that and all the good ones are at weird hours.
We lost NBC because Time Warner is stupid. We recenty got it back and this makes me happy for the main reason that I will get to watch the Macy's Parade and the National Dog Show. The Dog Show will be the thing I half ass because I'm making Dinner but regardless, it'll be fun. Everyone should watch it.
So, thinking in addition to last year's caffene consumptiomn and sanity checks, I'm going to bake a Pumpkin Pie and do a check of how much I consume over the course of the day. Sound Good?
TCM is having a musical theme going on. That makes me feel really gay because I would be half loking forword to that if not for the sheer stupidity of it all. Well, that and all the good ones are at weird hours.
We lost NBC because Time Warner is stupid. We recenty got it back and this makes me happy for the main reason that I will get to watch the Macy's Parade and the National Dog Show. The Dog Show will be the thing I half ass because I'm making Dinner but regardless, it'll be fun. Everyone should watch it.
So, thinking in addition to last year's caffene consumptiomn and sanity checks, I'm going to bake a Pumpkin Pie and do a check of how much I consume over the course of the day. Sound Good?
Monday, September 22, 2008
The Thanksgiving Experiment
So, if you remember, last year was the Christmas Experiment. Since I'm going home for Christmas this year, I'm going to be spending Thanksgiving by myself so I'm thinking of doing the same then. Here are the ground rules:
- Can't take a nap again this year. Made that mistake last year.
- Keep to what's on the tv. If that means watching Polar Express, then so help me...
- A new blog entry every two to three hours. Keeps me honest.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
WTF!?!?: Prom Night
So, they're remaking Prom Night, one of the seminal horror movies of all time BUT, it's in name only. What the fuck?!?! Oh, that isn't all. It's rated PG-13. Now, I don't know about you but I was raised on gory slasher films with plenty of nudity. Also, lots of Jamie Lee Curtis but that is besides the point. So, anyway, the new one has a trailer up that you can find here:
Sp, back yet? Yeah, doesn't it look like that piece of shit sucks? Not to mention that we see one definite kill in the trailer and it's the black chick. Now, I've seen enough of these movies where I already knew she was going to bite it but at least I would like to have some suspense! What the fuck? Oh, and also, the best part of Prom Night, original flavor is that while if you had half a brain you knew who the killer was, there was at least suspense. Here, the only suspense is in wether the movie will have some kind of redeeming value and, newsflash, it doesn't. What the fuck...
Sp, back yet? Yeah, doesn't it look like that piece of shit sucks? Not to mention that we see one definite kill in the trailer and it's the black chick. Now, I've seen enough of these movies where I already knew she was going to bite it but at least I would like to have some suspense! What the fuck? Oh, and also, the best part of Prom Night, original flavor is that while if you had half a brain you knew who the killer was, there was at least suspense. Here, the only suspense is in wether the movie will have some kind of redeeming value and, newsflash, it doesn't. What the fuck...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)