The Christmas Experiment 2016 Hours 3+4: A Christmas Wedding Date

And now for another made-for-tv movie. Why? Because I hate myself. A lot!

And Quirky!

A Christmas Wedding Date: So, this one follows a woman, Rebeca, who gets fired on Christmas rom her high-powered corporate job. She fails to get a new job so she goes home for a friend's wedding. That's at Christmas Eve. What is wrong with people?

So, the cabby, played by George Wendt from the airport almost hits another car, gives Rebeca a Christmas Ornament, and leaves. I might add this woman also didn't tell her mom she was coming home for Christmas. I think? She has cookies ready. Does she always have cookies ready just in case? Oh, and The Mom is played by the mom from Child's Play/Seventh Heaven/Peggy Sue Got Married. Wow, she's been a bad mother in a ton of films.

The next day, Rebeca is a generally grinchy person. She heads to the wedding, tells off a girl scout, talks to her bitchy high school friends. The Wedding itself is being held in what looks like someone's living room. The reception is in that room off the living room that no one ever goes in.

So, the love interest, Chad, is played by Will from Nashville. He's kind of an obsessive about her. Bitchy Friend also wants him. Anyway, he's a chef. Sure. He and Rebeca dated in high school. There, that's all the information you needed to know.

So, Bitchy Friend uses her wedding speech to make fun of Rebeca. Rebeca Nomi Malones off to the diner where her mom works. Beefcake Chad follows her and they talk about what might have happened if she hadn't left. Oh god, is this going to be one of those Christmas Specials where she ends up in an alternate reality  where he life might have went different? Haven't covered one of those in a while. Or ever? Can't remember. Anyway, Rebeca can't trust Chad because he cheated on her with Bitchy Friend.

So, Rebeca goes home... and flashbacks to what happened in the first 30 minutes of the movie. Really? REALLY?!?! Why?

She wakes up the next morning, her mom is still wearing the same shirt. Wait... oh god.... IT'S ANOTHER GROUNDHOG'S DAY CHRISTMAS MOVIE! CRAP!!! Why can't I go a season without watching one of these things?

So, as it turns out, George Wendt has magic powers and has trapped her in a Christmas Wedding time warp. Wonderful. He gives her some vague rules about needing to find the answer to some question. Awesome. I hope she kills Bitchy Friend in one of her rotations.

So, most of the rest of Rotation 2 is spent with more of the same. No significant changes until she comes to Beefcake Chad. Then she demonstrates complete knowledge of the time stream ahead of everyone. She leaves and tries to get on a flight out of dodge but George Wendt has hijacked the airport and won't giver her another flight.

Rotation 3: Rebeca shows up early to the wedding and talks to the priest. He gives her a bit of Metaphysics and Dumb Theological Arguments for Dummies 101. She then buys an incredibly ugly dress and tells off Bitchy Friend. It appears she's going for being a force of chaos this time. This includes the ugly dress, doing shots, dancing with the drunk guy friend, punching the drunk guy friend, getting taken to jail.

Rotation 4: Rebeca decides she would rather spend the day with her mother. So, they both go to the diner to work, bond, etc. She also uses the work Credit Card to buy herself a nice dress and a dress. George Wendt shws up on the TV to lecture Rebeca about valuing people over objects and money.

Rotation 5: Rebeca is at the diner when The Bride-to-be comes in. Rebeca has started to show signs of understanding. The Bride says that Beefcake Chad never cheated with Bitchy Friend. She walks around with Beefcake Chad and awww, they're cute together. Oh, and then the term Big City gets used.

Rotation 6: Rebeca decides to learn how to iceskate.

Rotation 7: Rebeca decides to learn how to bake.

An indiscernible amount of Rotations later (at least 3-6): Rebeca knows how to bake and ice skate. She also snores at the wedding.

Rotation... let's say 14: Rebecca is a master Ice Skater and goes with Beefcake Chad.  Also, Rebeca is thoroughly creepy with having learned everything about everything about everyone at this point.

Later,  This time, Rebeca buys all the Christmas Cookies from the Girl Scout and hands them out to random people on the street. She's being nice to everyone until Bitchy Friend. She threatens to rip out her hair of before firing the band and replacing them with a string quartet. Wedding goes perfect so probably the last rotation? After the wedding, she has a good conversation with Beefcake Chad. She then takes her to a restaurant where she cooked dinner. It's kind of creepy. Really creepy.

So, Rebeca gives a speech at the wedding  which is commonly reserved for members of the wedding party but this is a made for tv movie, Goddamnit! Screw protocol! Wedding dance happens, including Mom dancing with Drunk Guy because sure? Is Drunk Guy going to be her new daddy? Also, more flashbacks. This movie is less than two hours. How many flashbacks could you develop? Or Need?!? So much padding!

So, Rebeca wakes up. It's Christmas Morning! The Rotation is over! Woo! Our movie is finally ending! YEAH!!! Rebeca has decided to move home. Meaning she's going to leave all her possessions in New York. And walk out on her apartment lease. Yeah, that's really smart Rebeca. Oh, but she's engaged. Yeah.... no.

Non-Viewing Thoughts:  I wonder, if Unicef and ASPCA spent half their advertising budget on their actual charity, if there would be a better world?


Late Christmas Ideas: A Time Warp so I can get good enough at something to actually do something with my life.

Notable Commercials: I miss when Sarah MacLachlan was in all the ASPCA commercials.

Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 7 Cans
Coca-Colas Left: 4 Cans
Kickstarts Left: 2 Cans
Coffee Left: 2 Bottles
Pumpkin Pie Left: Whole Pie, currently unbaked
Sanity Rating: (1 being a Christmas Party, 10 being Four Christmas Weddings and a New Year's Funeral): 4