The Christmas Experiment 2009: Hours 17 & 18

Viewing Thoughts: Let's see how random we can get, shall we?

iCarly: Well, this might be the true nadir of the day. I am vaguely knowledgeable about what this show is. Basically, kid has a web show she tapes in her attic. It's not good by any stretch of the imagination In the opening alone, she subjects one her friends to playing a flashlight. She goes downstairs and her brother made an electromagnetic Christmas tree. He is kinda awesome. I wish I had an older brother like that. For Carly, this isn't good enough. Also, apparently Carly's blond friend is a bitch. She has nothing better to do than antagonize Carly's male, possibly gay friend. The awesome tree burst into flames, burning the presents. Carly wishes her brother was normal and... yeah, a George Bailey is happening only Clarence is a midget.Yeah, this isn't going to stop hurting, is it?

So, wish is granted, Carly's apartment is normal, brother is dating a cougar which apparently passes for normal is this weird world, and Carly goes to school. Oh, and Carly's gay friend Freddy is in a closeted relationship with a mega bitch. Oh, and Carly is dating some... I dunno what. Apparently I would get it if I watched this show on a regular basis. Oh, and the studio doesn't exist anymore because her brother isn't weird.  So, even though Carly has learned her lesson, it can't be reversed until the angel gets it's wings and the bitchy friend, Sam, is in juvey. Someone decided that juvey is just like prison. Carly regains Sam's trust by knowing too much stuff. I will admit though, wanting to become an invisibly ninja is cool. Oh, and I change my mind. Carly's alternate reality boyfriend is uber-gay. Carly has a nervous breakdown and proves herself to be a bitch ("I want my brother back." "I want you to be single and lonely." "I want you to leave the country." "Nobody even likes you.") and thankfully, this is the clincher to righting reality.Carly realizes her brother is the only one on this show other than kinda bitchy girl that counts as a functional human being that I would ever hand out with. Everything is right and apparently angels get their powers from Chicken wings. Yeah, the angel did it all for a large plate of Buffalo wings. That was pointless. Then they mock A Charlie Brown Christmas by doing the humming at the tree thing. Yeah... really? This show sucks. The only redeeming feature is Sam The Bitchy Chick. Without her, I probably would have ran for the hills about the time it turned into It's a Wonderful Life. For that matter, anyone notice that any of these shows that happen with that scenario, the character who it happens to has never seen that crappy movie?

The Year Without Santa Claus: This is one my favorites. I always loved the Rankin-Bass stop motion specials. There's just something about it that gives it more charm than many of the others. Maybe it Snow and Heat Miser. Maybe it's because Mrs. Claus gets to do something. I dunno, but it gets me. Plus the voice acting is first rate including Mickey Rooney as Santa Claus. Mind you most of the songs aren't very memorable with the exception of the Miser Brother's songs. Those are the most remarkable character in the special really.  The two elves, Jingle and Jangle, are kinda bland. Next time you watch this special though, pay attention. During a song at about the halfway point, Charlie Chaplin is in the background.

The Miser Brothers are definitely the stars of this special. They also apparently have cloned themselves some mini-mes because both brothers minions are the splitting images of themselves and they all have dancing lessons. I think the Miser Brothers might be gay. Hear me out here. They're momma's boys both, something of a stereotype back in the day. To top matters, both brothers are a little fey. It pretty much all adds up to one thing: Snow Miser is Camp Gay while Heat Miser is a Bear. It all makes sense.

Notable Commercials: Remember when the Wilson Brothers were both notable actors? Yeah, now we have Luke mostly just appearing in commercials for AT&T. It's kinda sad when a celebrity falls into this state. At least when Catherine Zeta-Jones did it, it was because she was already in the contract and was just a spokewoman. Luke, Luke is just kinda there, doing it because it's there as an offer.

I hate this Brittney Spears perfume commercial. It might be the attempts to be arty, most likely it's the fact that she gets hit with an arrow and survives.


Late Christmas Ideas: Outside of a vacation, I want my very own song and dance number. Hmmmm, that might be in the works if I can get my hand on a camera.

The Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 9
Energy Drinks Left: 3
Cups of Coffee drank: 0
Sanity Rating (1 being a normal child, 10 being one who has stared into the Deadlights): 6