I obviously love pain. We're watching Maralee Dawn Christmas, a puppet show on the Christian Children's Network. A giant dog is driving a bus and I don't have any booze in me to make this good. Some annoying puppet kids talk to a human woman named Maralee. She talks about a mountain pass. And then a Robot talks to a guy on the bus who can't act on the bus. I.... I don't know know what's happening!!!
Some random girl shows up and is lured into the house to play with the puppets and help decorate the tree. This girl should be scared for her life. Random Girl is a foster kid and the male puppet looks down on her. He gets lectured on it. Foster Girl hugs boy puppet and singing happens. I'm scared for my soul and this thing sleeps in my room!
Anyway, the girl puppet rants about something and everyone is scared for the bus. I don't know what the heck is going on any,ore. Also, the Foster Girl learns to sing, "Jesus Loves me" from the girl puppet. And Marelee isn't even pretending to be a good ventriloquist. Boy puppet has some idea abd suddenly we're in a blue sphere and puppets talk to kids and sing and I don't know. Then boy puppet is washing a toilet with his sister's toothbrush. I don't even pretend to know what's happening.
The Robot somehow sees what videos are being accessed. I want to break that robot. Marelee shows up with Hot Chocolate and Marelee talks about the Christmas story. She doesn't bring up that there are four different versions in the bible. Just saying. We're back to boy puppet, apparently he has a bullfrog teacher or something. I want to drink, there's an echo or something and they know that he's contacting the bus. Then they break into song about Angels doing God's biddings. Huh. Heavy snow starts hitting.
Back on the bus, more bad acting. Back with the little girls, we get a Gospel Elvis Impersonator followed by a song about friendship. I NEED AN ADULT! Foster girl learns that her foster mom cares about her. Her real mom is someplace it's implied I'm guessing jail for stabbing a john.
And now there's an unauthorized Charlie and the Chocolate Factory crossover. The puppet boy looks at Chocolate and can't make up his mind. I blame bad editing. Then we get a clip about a basement and it's being investigated by a mentally challenged puppet. I can't take this much longer WHO WATCHES THIS SHOW? Seriously, I miss Superbook for my children's Christian Television programming from when I was a kid. Anyway, getting the videos back apparently means everyone's alright and they decipher to check low frequency signals. We have some unrehearsed setting of a nativity scene. Foster Girl never heard the story of Christmas and is told to read the book since it's full of great stories. Don't forget about chapters of just genealogy. You need to know all of the children of Bethshaba!
Anyway, the bus shows up and there are real people there now. No one thinks anything of the crazy woman holding some puppets. Maybe they're just polite and wishing the bus had stalled. I don't know really. I just know it's over.
Iron Chef America: Tonight's episode is Paula Deen and Cat Cora vs Tyler Florence and Robert Irvine in Battle Sugar. Obviously it's very slanted in Paula's favor. I find Paula Deen interesting. She can be annoying but she's from from the worst on this show. Also, Tina Fey is a judge on this episode. I love Tina Fey. I would marry Tina Fey or at least hang out with her for awhile. Paula wins and I feel hungry which is not a good thing.
Late Christmas Ideas: Lots of pans for cooking. I want to do some cooking. Also, wouldn't mind having my sanity back. I miss my sanity.
Notable Commercials:So many ads for Clearance events and I really don't care on any of them. Seriously, I don't even remotely care. I mean, Wal-Mart is being really aggressive about it.
The Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 21
Energy Drinks Left: 3
Cups of Coffee drank: 0
Pumpkin Pie Left: One Half of pie
Sanity Rating (1 Being Will's normal stupidty and 10 being an advanced form of super-stupidity): 7
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