You know what they don't do enough of any more? Big, star-studded Christmas Specials. Let's watch a couple.
The Judy Garland Christmas Show: First off, I can't be the first person to find the irony of this being sponsored by a kind of pill. Secondly, we start with Judy singing Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. Love it. So much. If you haven't seen it, they have it set up as if Judy is having Christmas at home. It's obviously a set but that's the charm of this classic. Judy and her kids that aren't Liza are singing at the beginning. They then relax as Liza comes home and she's confused at the cameras. I think she might legitimately be confused. It is Liza after all. However, she's soon singing with the others.
It's worth noting that Judy's son didn't get the talent. He's not bad but it's understandable that he would fade from the spotlight. We get a song with Liza and one of her boyfriends. Don't know if he was one of the gay ones but ehh, whatever. Judy sings as the kids decorate the tree. Jack Jones then enters singing "Wouldn't it Be Lovely."
Look, I'm not going synopsize the entire thing. It's worth checking out and would you believe that the other sponsor is Pall Mall cigarettes? I mean, seriously! Liza and her potentially gay beau stare at each other as he carries a pile of gifts for her as she sings. And, if that wasn't surreal enough, a group of dancing Santas rush in and, well, start dancing. I think they have given up on this being their home at the point unless this is a regular occurrence at the Garland residence. That would actually not surprise me one single bit to be perfectly honest.
Suddenly we have a bunch of carolers pop up. Mel Torme, the writer of the Christmas Song and Judy's drink has caught up with her because she stumbles on her lines, fumbles her lines, changes "reindeer" to "rainbows" but pulls herself together by the end. Judy is a freaking professional. The carolers start singing again. I always thought "Christmas Bells" was one of those Christmas songs that needed more exposure. The second half of the special really is just Judy and the Carolers singing together. Also, I just realized how obvious it is that Liza got a nose job. She also looks weird with long hair.
Eventually the Carolers all leave and Judy sings "Over the Rainbow" to her kids. It's just as beautiful as it is in The Wizard of Oz. In fact, there's this pain to it now that makes it even more beautiful than it was before. Is it a Christmas Song? No but neither is "My Favorite Things" and that gets played to death during the holiday season. It's just a beautiful special, starring a beautiful woman and her beautiful voice.
Christmas at Pee-Wee's Playhouse: Now for the opposite of a Beautiful voice. This really feels more like a parody of Holiday Specials. Paul Reuben plays Pee-Wee Herman as per usual, just as much of a spoiled kid as ever. What is really creepy is Miss Yvonne wears mistletoe on her hair because she wants to kiss everyone in the playhouse and, in face, make out with hundreds of people. This includes the talking floor. And Chair. And easel. And fish. You know, it's one thing to be the most beautiful woman in puppet land but it's another thing to do... that. Magic Johnson shows up. Umm, Miss Yvonne, it's alright to kiss him. Just... be careful about other things.
There's a running joke of people giving Pee-Wee fruitcake. Grace Jones shows up in a box. She's dressed just as bizarre as in The Living Daylights and she sings The Little Drummer Boy kinda like a lounge singer. I think we have a new candidate for Christmas Special that requires a liberal amount of drug use to make sense of.
Frankie and Annette pop up at this point to make Christmas Cards. Pee-Wee then forces them to work as sweat shop workers. But more bizare, Cher shows up to find out the secret word. Turns out it's year. . It's worth pointing out that she would have Oscar the next year (SCREAM) and be far beyond this. This is soon followed by k.d. Lang. She has hair and isn't tearing up pictures of the pope so it works out pretty well in all honesty.
Of the celebrities that show up, most are of the kind that just show up to say Merry Christmas. One of the exceptions is Dinah Short who shows up to sing The 12 Days of Christmas. She kinda gets left to do that in the background while Charro pops up to sing while Pee-Wee tries to whack a pinata. We also get our customary Haunakah message. This includes it getting called out and PeeWee getting a dreidel. It also turns out that the claymation dinosaurs in the walls are Jewish also. Who knew?
By the end of the special, the Fruitcake running gag cummulates in a new wing of the Playhouse being built of just Fruitcake. Pee-Wee gives up his presents for all the other children of the world, and he goes with Santa to deliver the presents. Christmas everyone!
Non-Viewing Thoughts: The only really sucky about this time of year is that it get dark way too early.
Late
Christmas Ideas: You know, with all this talk of new bedding, I could use with a new comforter also. Yeah.
Notable Commercials: During Judy Garland, there's a commercial for Cold Medicine featuring stop motion version of the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion. I'll admit, its rather cool.
Tally:
Mountain Dews left: 22
Amps left: 2
Pumpkin Pie Left: 1/2 left.
Sanity Rating: (1 being a quiet night at home, 10 being Santa's randomly breaking in just to dance and be merry): 4
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