The Christmas Experiment 2012: Hours 11&12

Time to check out the archives again.

The Walt Disney World Very Merry Christmas Parade: I watch the Walt Disney World Christmas Day Parad Every Year. This is from 1985, the year I was born. They promise a behind the scenes look at Captain Eo featuring Michael Jackson. Huh. Joan Lundon and Ben Vereen are hosting. Huh. Regis Philbman is co-hosting, looking just slightly less grey than he does now. Huh.

A big difference between this parade and the more recent ones is that the recent ones have become a tool to promote the Disney Channel idiots stars. Thankfully, Selena Gomez hasn't even been born yet at this point. Dear god, that thought makes me feel so old. Instead, we have the West Orange High Marching Band. You know, I wonder if there's an East Orange High. I see West Orange all the time on these parades but never East. Maybe West Orange is like South Central with there not being a corresponding direction school.

So, one thing doesn't change and that's stupid commentary from the hosts. They're wondering what would happen if Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella came together. I personally wonder why Snow White never got a castle at a Disney Park? You'd think that EuroDisney would have Belle's castle for that matter but no, Sleeping Beauty. One thing they do anytime we see a character's float, we get their entire story. I have to remind myself that most of these films had not hit home video yet at this point.

Another huge change from later years is that they're actually showing the floats, not just doing the occasional montage and then forcing us to watch some Disney talentless hack star sing. And... did the hosts just get excited over the announcement of EuroDisney? Oh dear god, those poor fools. They don't know what they're in for.

Speaking of failed Disney Projects, we get to see Regis's tour of the Living Seas Pavilion. It looks like a great part of EPCOT. However, this being EPCOT, it wasn't well visited. Overtime, the place was visited less and less until it got rebranded and changed around for synergy with Finding Nemo. It makes me sad since, let's face it, something educational has been taken over by Pixar. Of course, then we get another butchered attraction, The Country Bear Jamboree. It's been cut to ribbons but ehh, whatever. And now another Disney attraction that no longer exists: Captain Eo. George Lucas produced this, Francis Ford Coppola directed, and Angelica Huston was the villain. Holy crap! You can find it on YouTube if you look around. It actually got brought back in a slightly altered form after the dead of Michael Jackson. No surprise there.

Some of the human Cast Members look the part. Others look like Cruella DeVil does which is nothing like their part and more like expensive hookers. This is something that doesn't change. That said, the Cast Members playing the villains always look like they're having more fun than the princesses and other humans. Case in point to the right.

Something that's happening that you would so not see on TV today: Ben Vereen is singing "Go Tell it On the Mountain." It works. Is it a Christmas song? No but hey. whatever. When something works, it works.

And this was when the Gummy Bears were new. I know a lot of people don't even remember The Gummy Bears. That's what makes me especially sad. And makes me feel old. I think I'm going to feel old for quite a bit of time from here on out. Also, why are Rageddy Ann and Andy in this parade? They aren't Disney. Hell, not even an appearance in freaking Toy Story.

And Ronald Reagan talking to us. About Peace. Followed by Margaret Thatcher. What the hell? I know Disney is great and all but... what? What? And the Canadian Prime Minister also followed by a ton of Cast Members from the World Showcase and then singing about peace on Earth. Huh. Well, that wasn't expected. And the Parade is over. Time to go home kids because ABC is going to cut you off mid-sentence Joan.

Non-Viewing Thoughts: I still have never been to Disney. I think I've planned vacations most of my life to the place but I've just never been able to. It's definitely on my bucket list of things to do.

Late Christmas Ideas: I really should start working on my Disney collection. There are so many films I wouldn't mind owning.

Notable Commercials: Eastman Kodak gets an ad. I miss traditional film labs sometimes. I also don't at the same time. What an interesting world we live in?

Then there's a commercial for a defunct airline and getting a vacation through them but let's ignore that. There's a man with 80s hair, a hairy chest, and a banana hammock demonstrating relaxation. I guess they want us to go to an all male resort.

Superman 2 is on on Tuesday. Yeah, how about no. Last thing we need is Superman's roofie kiss.

Tally:
Mountain Dews left: 23
Amps left: 3
Pumpkin Pie Left: 2/3rd left.
Sanity Rating: (1 being Dumbo the Flying Elephant, 10 being Space Mountain while having a stomach flu and having just eaten three turkey legs that have been sitting out all day): 4