Every year I watch either an ABC Family or Lifetime original film. It usually ends in me desiring the murder of everyone in the film. Yeah, not making any guarantees this year.
12 Dates of Christmas: The film starts with a pop version of the 12 Days of Christmas. I wonder how this is going to go? Bored chick and gay friend are at a party but I think our protagonist is blonde chick who's working. Girl talk, blonde chick wants to hook up with her ex or something. I dunno. This is already inane. Blonde has a blind date also.
It's worth noting that this is a world where the 12 Days of Christmas is the ONLY song. I wonder if it'll be a plot point. Probably since I'm not expecting any creativity here. Chick gets perfume to the eyes and goes down. She gets up and leaves, goes home. The blind date sounds like Mark Paul Gosseler. If it is, he's just Zach Morris. And it is Zach Morris. Blonde Chick, who's named Kate, gets a call from her ex and she runs out to hook up with him. Dude, its Zach Morris. Go for him. He's a Time Lord.
Ex-Boyfriend hooked up with his ex. Haha, Kate gets stuck with the dog. I kinda hate this chick so it's good. She goes to her dad's place. She's also horrible and dislikes her father's new wife that is a pretty nice chick and... wait. Did we just Groundhog's Day? HOW DID THIS NUMBSKULL DESERVE A GROUNDHOG'S DAY?!?
So, time reverses to right as she got the perfume. I was expecting some stupid romantic comedy. Now I'm in full on Groundhogs Day. Kate is weirded out and calls bitchy friend. She thinks its a dream and decides to sabotage people. You know, it takes a certain kind of heinous in your second rotation to go for being evil. I figure by the last rotation, she's got the nuclear football and is holding the world hostage for a date. Also, she's mean to Zach Morris who has a dead wife. Turns out destroying someone's world doesn't turn out. Kate falls asleep.
Rotation 3. She thinks she has a brain tumor now. Never mind on her destroying a person's life or she did or she's planning to on the next rotation. I dunno. I think she's figured out what's going on and is using this rotation for fact gathering. Also, he refers to his life as a Lifetime movie. Weird since this is practically a Lifetime movie. Anyway, her neighbor is awesome, has a huge New York apartment. Considering that Kate has a terrible small apartment, Rent Control.
Rotation 4. She seems to be in the groove of things. Also trying to help the ex. She hangs out with a chick that she met on the street who was unhappy with her boyfriend. They hang out, Dad, stepmom, and Zach Morris show up. They flirt and stuff then she messes things up when she assaults a guy who was waiting for his date.
Rotation 5. Kate and Zach Morris buy a Christmas Tree and take it back to her place. They then go to the parent's place. Wow, it only took 5 rotations for Kate to stop being a horrible person. Can't wait to see how see messes it up next. Neighbor is a midnight mass. I can't wait to see the mess-up...
Rotation 6. Nice guy who helps her out takes her to a botanical garden. I think I already see that Nice guy and Neighbor are going to hook up. Anyway, Kate spends a ton of money and lives the day as her more awesome. Bitchy friend, nice chick from the street, and the neighbor hang with Kate making cookies.
Rotation 7. Kate and Zach Morris meet at a hockey rink. See, around here, I'd start trying to figure out a better plan but whatever, as I said last year, I'd start using my loop to gain ultimate knowledge and puppet the world for my amusement but that's just me and my selfish desires for power and control over reality. Anyway, they're about ti hook-up and...
Rotation 8. Kate and the ex have coffee. Kate meets up with parents and Zach Morris. She explains the timeloop without doing it. Things go bad.
Rotation 9. She decides not to see Zach Morris. I decide to work on dinner since that's more interesting. She talks to other guy at the bar. I kinda wish she hooked up with him because hes cute. She goes to Church with Neighbor.
Rotation 10. Kate meets a kid that Zach Morris was mentoring.
Rotation 11. She does it again, being more sneaky so she can get him back to a group home or something. Kid wants a dog. Zach morris and Kate hook up. Is this over yet?
Rotation 12: Cute Geeky guy is dressed up by Kate, Nice Guy and Neighbor get the hook up, Kate meets up with the ex and her future, street couple is awesome and get engaged, and everyone is happy. This was the last rotation. Woo. This was an aggressively mediocre movie.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: Turkey is cooking. Won't be ready until 2. Dang.
Late
Christmas Ideas: Mozzarella sticks would be freaking delicious right now. Sorry, so hungry.
Notable Commercials: I already have a Samsung phone. Stop showing me all these amazing things that the next model up can do.
Glade Candles can apparently inspire anyone to sing. Nothing says Christmas like pine candles.
Tally:
Mountain Dews left: 11
Amps left: 2
Cups of Coffee Drunk: 1
Pumpkin Pie Left: 1/2 left.
Sanity Rating: (1 being having a normal day in a do-over, 10 being watching Christmas stuff if I'm in a do-over):6
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