The Christmas Experiment 2013: Hours 4-6: How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Interesting fact: I was at Goodwill a few months back and found a few unmarked VHS tapes. On one of them, I found where someone had recorded a particular Thanksgiving evening telecast.

*sigh* I hate myself. So much.

A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving: One of the better Peanuts specials but Peppermint Patty is a bit of a bad word here. I also notice the sheer amount of kids who's parents don't seem to care where they went on a family day. I wish I had more to say but mainly watching this part to pad out my Charles Schultz quota for the day. I mean, it's part of the Holiday season but it's not Christmas to be sure.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas: Note, this is the movie, not the classic Christmas special. Instead of doing some kinda synopsis, why don't I just do a list of all the problems with this movie.

1. This thing is padded out to all heck and back. We don't need the Grinch to have a tragic love back story or something. In fact, him having no notice other than that the Who's are annoying is all that you really need.
2. They kinda shove in the king of all "Commercialism is bad" Aesop's. I mean, it was always there in the book but they push it really hard. Worse of all, they totally merchandised the hell out of this movie.
3. It seriously takes 3/4th of the movie for them to get to the plot of the book. Everything that comes before it is so unnecessary to the plot that it's not even funny.
4. Cindy Loo Who was just this kid that showed up to ask The Grinch about her tree in the book. Here, we have a kid who has some kinda questioning commercialism thing and her wanting to believe in the Grinch or something.
5. Jim Carey is a good actor. Really, he is. He is completely wasted. Let's start with the make-up. This is some... make-up. He almost looks the part but then just completely spoils it. They try to look like the book but there's something so stylized about the book that it just doesn't translate. I think it's the fact that he's trying to hard. The Grinch should not be overtly silly. Oh, funny yes but you can't take Jim Carey serious here. He needed to be a little subdued.
6. The cast that totally just gets wasted. Christine Branski, Molly Shannon, Jeffrey Tambor. All of them are just kinda there or given totally useless material to work with.
7. "Where Are You Christmas?" I hate this song. The version in the movie isn't totally bad but the other version, the pop version, makes me want to burn things. It's not quite as bad as Christmas shoes but it's pretty damn near the top there.
8. One thing that never fails to annoy me are pop culture jokes that completely date a film, especially when they don't fit in the movie. This is a fantasy film. No, just because it makes people laugh at the time that it was made, doesn't mean that it will in a decade. Your goal as a filmmaker shouldn't be to make a movie for a time but for all time.
9. The only thing that annoys me more are when you put a joke that is totally inappropriate for the audience in there. For example, The Grinch goes to a pair of spinsters who are holding a key party. I mean, it's one thing to have subversive humor but you at least leave something up to the imagination.
10. Just how mean-spirited the film is at times. I mean, the Grinch is supposed to be but everyone else seems to be up to a point, especially Jeffrey Tambor who's character is suffering from designated villain syndrome. I mean, you already have The Grinch. Why do you need another villain to begin with?
11. The Love triangle. Because afterall, the thing everyone ever wanted was to see The Grinch as a
    
    romantic lead. I know I want to imagine the aftermath of the movie and the wedding night between Christine Branski and the Grinch. Excuse me, I can't stop wretching. So much for cutting into the pie. Seriously, what the living hell is wrong with this picture?
12. Once they do get to the part concerning with the book, it feels too much like the Christmas Special that it has to draw comparisons and trust me, they will be unfavorable. When you have a Christmas Standard as famous as "Mr. Grinch" any cover is going to sound bad but Jim Carrey's sounds very underwhelming.
13. In the original story, the Grinch just perceived the Whos as being materialistic. In truth, they understood what Christmas was all about without a motivational speech. A lot of the sincerity of the story just melts away in this version.
14. In the end, the movie isn't offensively bad, it's just... boring. It lacks anything fun, it has no heart, it's just something to pity. Not only that but, in a world where the Christmas Special exists, why would you even watch the film unless you thirst for pain like I seem to.

Non-Viewing Thoughts:I totally forgot that TGIF ran into the 2000s. I thought it was dead by the end of the 90s. Who'd have thunk it?

Late Christmas Ideas:A dvd of the original Grinch. Why? Because hell, why not? I guess supporting that over this thing is always an advisable action. Supporting Sarah Palin in another run for political office is an advisable action over supporting this movie.

Notable Commercials: There's an ad for "Nick and Jessica's Christmas Special." Remember when Jessica Simpson was someone and Nick Lachey for that matter? Me neither but I guess you should mine your fame for all it's worth while you got it.

Since this telecast was from Thanksgiving, there are tons of Black Friday ads. Most of them are pretty bad and I'm more than a little happy that Black Friday still came off as bunkus back then.

Tally:
Mountain Dews left: 11
Amps left: 2
Cups of Coffee Drunk: 1
Pumpkin Pie Left: Still There.
Sanity Rating: (1 being a stroll through Whoville, 10 being a climb up Mt. Crumpett):6