Monday Night Raw: I'm a wrestling fan. It happens. Don't judge me. It's promising the batte if the Santas with Marc Henry as good Santa. EVERYONE WINS!!! That said, it's been a few months since I've even tried to keep up with wrestling. I think HHH is a heel again. Not quite sure.
Here's the thing. The fun part is isn't been a few month since the last time I watched
wrestling so, outside of Cena, I can't remember who's a heel and who's a
face. I think Randy Orton is a heel but I can never tell since the guy has acted like a heel the entire I've watched but he seems to always be called a face.
Randy Orton, who's the world Champion, makes it sound like he's prostituting himself because he said he's offering himself as a present... I think. He said his present was wrapped in a bow.
And now a Divas match. Once again, for the wrestling illiterate, WWE Divas are the female wrestlers. They're almost as terrible as Jeffy. I heard the term, "Sexy Fruit Roll-up." I wish I could make the up. A Divas match is just them padding time and giving you time to use the facilities.
Okay, this next match are what I'm refering to as Psycho Hillbillies vs Cody Rhodes (who is apparently dishing), Golddust (who has a full body gimp costume), and Daniel Bryan who a healthy beard. One of the Psycho Hillbillies has a lamb mask. I... I think it's a response to Duck Dynasty. I wish I knew what the hell was going on with the Psycho Hillbillies. Regardless, everyone involved in this match really seems to be into it. There's no one who's boring to watch. Everyone is pretty dynamic here. I think the Psycho Hillbillies also have some kinda Manson Family Schtick also. The Psycho Hillbillies win but then the fight goes on with them beating up on a guy. Ehh, it happens.
A kid gets worried that Christmas will get canceled. The kid is the worst actor ever. Good Santa says it won't be.
There's a wrestler called Fandango. Not only can he punch you but he can also tell you when your movie is.
So, it's the Good Santa vs Bad Santa fight. There's also a toilet in the ring... for some reason. I... I don't know. It's a pretty crappy fight. (Sorry for the bad pun). Anyway, Good Santa wins.
John Cena shows up. I immediately want to start punching him with a sledgehammer.
Anyway, last match a Three on Three tag match, It has John Cena so I'm bored. Really bored. So very bored. They already has a Three on Three tag, it's just repetitive.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: So many wrestlers when they try to look fearsome just look constipated.
Late
Christmas Ideas: I wouldn't mind a big oiled up guy in a pair of trunks. I don't think that would be bad at all.
Notable Commercials: What's up with all the kids asking for fuel-efficent cars? I mean, I can see why you might be concerned for the environment but still!
Tally:
Mountain Dews left: 9
Amps left: 2
Cups of Coffee Drunk: 1
Pumpkin Pie Left: 1/3rd left.
Sanity Rating: (1 being A calm discussion, 10 being THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR WILL BEAT HULK HOGAN *skrunk*):4
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