The Christmas Experiment 2013 Hours 11+12: Daytime Shenanigans

You can find Christmas stuff, even in Daytime television. It just means occasionally going to less than happy sources.

See, I'm not exaggerating!

Today: The fourth hour of the Today is where hope goes to die. Hosted by Kathie Lee and Hoda, we run into two women that have no problem getting boozed up at 10 in the morning. Seriously, they're already drinking usually. Today is no exception.

So, before we get to that all, a bunch of kids are awkwardly swaying out of rhythm with each other while singing Christmas songs. My good old High School Choir teacher, Mrs. Jackson, would threaten to throw a stapler at those kids until they promise to stop swaying. Ah, good memories.

Inane chatter. Kathie Lee calls herself spiritual. Huh, I would have thought the only Spirit she was familiar with was vodka. You learn new things everyday. The two drunk women try to recite the 12 days of Christmas. Yeah, neither of them are driving home. They then give us Christmas lyrics, ask us to guess them, and then Kathie Lee gets angry over the fact that they're not using her versions of the songs from her Christmas Album. Kathie Lee, honey, no one wants to hear you singing.

I'm not going to touch on the Human Interest stories. I feel bad making fun of them. Damn.

Finally, we get some kinda horrible fashion segment. The girls bring their booze with them. Of course. They trip over the word gigabite. Later they look at how to set a table. I refuse to believe there are people who go that crazy over table settings. I get that they're going for making things cheap but the problem comes you set the table with no way of putting Christmas Dinner on the table.

I'm kinda sad. I was hoping for a trainwreck. I got a pretty normal segment. Dang.

The Price is Right: Okay, Drew Carey. He's too nice but it's okay. Hoping I might get some quality trainwreck. You know, outside of skinny Drew Carey is. The first woman up has a shirt wishing Bob Barker a Merry Christmas. She competes for a year of groceries, maid service, and flowers. I wonder if booze would be included with the groceries. She loses.

Next person... oh, Rocco Dispirito pops in. If I hasn't already sworn to eventually hook up with Michael Symon, I would so be into Rocco. He is attractive.And we have the first horrible person bidding a dollar over. The chick he does it to just gives him the look of death. He doesn't get up though. Good. Nobody interesting the next prize and the woman with the Bob Barker shirt goes to the Showcase.

We get Steven. Steven is high. He is really high. He keeps on jumping up and down. Crazy.Steven loses. He just realized he won Ski equipment at the last moment. Seriously kids, Steven is so high. Like, I'm surprised that he doesn't just float into some lighting equipment. Next guy loses. This is a losing day. Next Bidding thing, I would have been on the spot. Dang. We get some insane game about bidding on rats racing. It's one of those random chance games so pretty sucky. I mean, I'd rather have something based off of skill than luck. Chick wins Jewlery and a Foozball table. Crazy Steven gets to go to the Showcase. Steven loses after Rocco talked about his pork. Yeah...

Non-Viewing Thoughts: Finally found some Holiday Crunch. Was so worth the wait. Does it taste better than normal Crunch Berries? No but hey, it's Christmas. Gotta get festive somehow. Whether it's that or the Wally World Santa Hat.

Late Christmas Ideas: I did like the USB cufflinks they advertised during the Christmas fashion thing. I have nothing that I can use cufflinks with but hey, still looks cool.

Notable Commercials: The AARP really loves advertising during The Price is Right. I think they know their audience pretty well.

Tally:
Mountain Dews left: 11
Amps left: 2
Cups of Coffee Drunk: 1
Pumpkin Pie Left: 2/3rds left.
Sanity Rating: (1 being maybe one drink, 10 being New Year's Eve):4