1) Calling the Department Store "Cole's." Outside of sounding like a Macy's competitor, they are trying too hard with the entire Corporate Takeover subplot. It's entirely unnecessary. We get a bit of the Macy's/Gimble competition in the original. In fact, it's practically required to the plot. Here, we instead of the obvious good guy store and an obvious evil store. Even the exteriors scream it. Tradition vs the Modern Age. The way the people that work at both places dress scream it. Some are dressed in warm colors, the others are dressed EVIL!!! One of the most unforgivable parts of this entire plotline is that it never gets resolved. Is Cole's saved? Who knows? The audience never gets an answer so you might as well wonder, why bother? The most we ever find out is that everyone gets their Christmas bonus and the evil company is evil.One of the nice thing of having real stores in the first one, outside of rooting the film in reality, is that we got to see them as being real things. Instead, evil corporation out to get Santa Claus. Think about that for a minute. We might as well have Santa as an axe murderer in a film. Oh wait, been done. Really, it just brings up another thing this film is missing. Namely...
2) The Charm. Namely the lack of it. Outside of the addition of villains, the film resorts to potty jokes, something I don't mind except where it counts, namely in a Family Christmas Film. The Santa for the Parade in the original was just a drunk. He wasn't some kind of a pervert who showed off his butt crack. Also, hearing the little girl talk about horse poop is less than enchanting. Then there's Santa being called "numbnuts". Really? REALLY?
Then there's the forced sentimentality. This is an epidemic of Modern American film making, especially in family films. The scene with the deaf girl is just so cloying that I wanted to scream at the TV! Then we have the people after Santa gets staged to look evil just giving him means looks. Finally, one of my biggest problems, the music. They try their hardest to make you feel a specific way for a moment. Music in films should add to the story, not manipulate it. It's a tool to compliment the picture, not necessarily a story-telling device themselves. No, something else should be telling the story and there's someplace we have another deficiency.
3) The Acting. All of the actors are either trying to play imitations of the original role or they make it very hard to like them. I'll group some of the characterization here also. Generic Evil Shopper's Express Executive is just all too evil. I half-expected him to cackle and scream, "I shall rule Christmas forever" at one point. I know they needed a villain but that's part of the problem of this film. There shouldn't be a villain. It's Christmas. For that matter, Dorey Walker, as played by Elizabeth Perkins, just doesn't have the charm that Maureen O'hara did. The part is too quiet, not assertive.That and I don't believe her as being hard nosed with her job for a moment. She talks about being a hard-case when it comes to dating but you never see that. At all. They're too busy telling us about all the problems with her to ever show us what these problems are.
One thing I will say it gets right is Santa. While this isn't Edmund Gwenn, Richard Attenburough does a pretty good job with what he's given. The reasoning for why he failed his psych exam makes no sense in this version, partially due to the fact that we have real villains in this one. For that matter, Mara Wilson does a pretty good job also. Sometimes she seems a little too sweet for a kid that is supposed to be described as 6 going on 60. Still, she is an excellent child actor. She has mostly retired from the public eye which is a shame but then, I'm happy I haven't heard something about her becoming an actress in adult films. Always good when that doesn't happen.
4) The Aesop: A Charlie Brown Christmas is probably my favorite Christmas Special of all time. It's because it's not afraid to show a little faith in the Holiday. It was part of the season. Then when you have this film where they have an overstated message about having faith in things. Yes, it was there in the original but it wasn't bashing you over the head with a sledgehammer until you got the point. It all gets driven home when, instead of using the climatic scene where the letters from Santa get brought in, we get the judge making his decision based off the "In God We Trust" motto on the Dollar Bill. Not, keeping in mind that entire separation of Church and State thing, any lawyer that appeals the hearing, and there would be one, would then have a field day arguing that now the court has to judge if there is or isn't a god. At this point, it's just that the original was just a cleaner ending. Also, it didn't keep going on with some insipidness.
5) The Love Plot: It was really understated in the original. The mom and her boyfriend were something that just happened as the film happened. They were not kissing 45 minutes into the film and definitely not married at the end. Part of the film was him winning her respect. Instead, we get an artificial break-up scene in the middle of a relationship that was already in existence. Of course, this leads to the awkward make-up scene. In this case, this leads to the marriage scene. A Marriage Scene that doesn't have a real witness. Santa can set up a marriage but he can't give them a real witness so the marriage isn't really binding. Oh, and Santa apparently super-powered Dylan's sperm and programmed them to make boys. Don't forget that.
So, yeah, overall, not a big fan of this film. I wish I could say that it lived up to the original but then, that's like when you get a great pizza from Giordanos and then being disappointed when Pizza Hut can't get you one just as good. I guess sometimes you just gotta settle for something substandard because you can't get a better product. Still, you'd wish they would have tried a little harder. I'm not asking for a carbon copy of the original film, I'm just asking for something feels like a good film.
Late-Christmas Ideas: An end to this entire remake overload we've gotten in cinema recently. Mind you, I have no friends who are high-powered cinema executives so I doubt that's going to happen. Very well. I guess I'll just have to settle for not having to watch this movie for another year.
 |
| Really? |
The Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 12
Energy Drinks Left: 4
Cups of Coffee drank: 0
Pumpkin Pie Left: Whole Pie
Sanity Rating (1 being shopping online, 10 being shopping ): 3
No comments:
Post a Comment