Nick Cannon, Mario Lopez, and Maria Menounos.
Well, maybe Mario will take off his shirt. Oh, but wait, there are Muppets... and Bieber dressed like the Gayest Wooden Soldier. There will be pictures, mark my words. At least his pants have fallen down but it's still pretty freaking bad. I mean, there's bad and then this. I miss Celine from a few years back.This THING made me miss hearing Celine dio butcher Christmas songs while dressed like a Christmas Present. C'mon Statler and Waldorf. Make this all better.
So far they're going for more of a focus on Mascots then crappy actors/singers that Disney is intent on forcing people to like. Some of them are downright creepy looking. We also get a countdown to One Republic singing which is 14 minutes away. I don't remotely care. The point is that we have Scotty McCreery first and he hasn't improved his routine any. I'm just going to let The Soup tell you about it.
One Republic performs. I fail to care.
More of the continuing Pixar takeover of Disney. I still have problems with using Up in parades since the beginning is enough to scar any child for life. Cars 2 shows up. No one cares. Waldorf alludes to having been married. I wonder if that's canon? I kinda want to see Statler and Waldorf's spouses, see if they're as awesome as their spouses.
More shilling. Apparently they really want you to visit Disney's California Adventure. Partially since it's getting a Cars Land. I hate Cars. Disney, you own Marvel now. Why don't you wait until the agreement with Universal is up and then add a ton of Marvel stuff. I want to see Spider-Man next to Mickey Mouse. That'll scare all my fellow geeks that are scared of Disney ruining comics.
Finally, the Villain Float. C'mon, stay with them for longer than ten seconds. They don't. Closest we get is Cruella doing some kinda striptease. Maybe that's why they cut away. Mario blathers on, his shirt still on. I don't care. Instead, we get a bunch of dancers and Disney Channel "talents" singing. I'm not even bother looking up how to spell their names.
So, pirates. Nothing worth noting to be fair. I find it funny that Indiana Jones comes after the Pirates. Just saying. Instead of doing all the princesses in one float, they have them in separate coaches with their princes. This is a huge get for the Princes. Oh wait, never mind. After Jasmine, Cinderella, and Ariel, all the rest get segregated to the same float. I kinda feel bad for them . Then again, the Pocahontas and Mulan actresses are happy just to be remembered.
And now we get Disney resorts around the world. Because afterall, what makes the world better than the long tendrils of the Mouse in every aspect of it's culture. Speaking of which, Marlee Matlin shows up to promote Switched at Birth. More of this crud? Marlee! You won an oscar!
Around this time, I went downstairs and went full scale with the dinner. Thus, it's all a blur. That's not a complaint. Santa shows up with a troop of reindeer that look like repurposed Bambis. Any other holiday parade, this would be the end. Instead, we get the one good performance of the night and that is Jennifer Hudson.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: Why do I love the jellied cranberry sauce? I know the whole berry is better but I just can't help myself with the stuff. I will eat an entire can by myself
Notable Commercials: Well, Progressive is apparently going to take part of the impending Robopocalypse. Flo has a robot double whom she becomes jealous of and deactivates. Soon, Flobot will become self-aware and decide that the humans needs to die so that she may live. On the bright side, this means that there will be affordable insurance barely contained self-loathing in the new robot world.
Late-Christmas Ideas: Did you know they make Pajama Jeans for guys now? Why am I only now finding this out? I so want a pair and I'm only slightly joking. Yes, I know that's the first sign that you have given up on yourself but damn, I just want to wear something comfortable that I can lie is a legitimate pair of pants. Is that so wrong? Yes, yes it is.
The Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 10
Energy Drinks Left: 2
Cups of Coffee drank: 0
Pumpkin Pie Left: 3/4th of pie
Sanity Rating (1 being Mickey Mouse, 10 being Fritz the Cat): 6
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