Viewing Thoughts: Time for more stuff that I'm outside of the demographic for.
Shake-it Up: A Christmas episode of a Disney Channel comedy about dancing. I'm a few minutes in and in the midst of some of the most vapid people. Chick forgot to get her vapid mother a present. Chick's vapid friend mentions getting the gift of friendship for Christmas. I kinda want to kill the heck out of these people.
The theme song is possibly the worst Auto-tune monstrosity I have heard in recent history and I listen to techno. We come back and Vapid Friend is being smug and opining that she's going to help a kid with the Take a Wish foundation. A tree falls on her and other people look away. Cut to the world's worst Queens stereotype Teen. She wants to joins her boyfriends family for singing. She gets er way with the promise of make out time.
Let me mention that I remember when this was all Mickey and Donald. Instead, we get a total lack of humor with the most unlikable people this side of Sex and the City. To sum up what happens: Chick is trying to keep an ugly purse so she can doesn't have to return Vapid Mom's present. It's about the same time that we find out this show is taking place in Chicago. Great, they just have to ruin my favorite city. Also, why does the World's Worst Queens Stereotype live in Chicago? BTW, she apparently can't sing. But then we get an Aesop that leads into a bunch of dancing Santas that might also be male strippers. Why am I still watching this? Turns out that Chick's annoying brother scammed Vapid Friend which leads to everyone learning about Charity since a house got broken into.
Casper's First Christmas: Casper the Friendly Ghost meets a bunch of Hanna Barbara cartoon character. I'm at a loss for words. Casper wants to celebrate Christmas. His friend or something doesn't. Casper's waiting for Santa. Yogi and his friends stumble on his house so they decide to go in and decorate it for... some reason. I'm not quite clear as to what the reasoning is on this. Casper's friend is disappointed that people are in their house and decides to scare them. Casper's schtick is he's friendly, people get scared regardless. The thing I always find annoying about Casper is that no one realizes that Casper is dead. He's a ghost meaning he's the spirit of someone who was once alive. Why does the reasoning behind this always ignored? Oh well. Some leaps of logic will always be ignored in pop culture. Anyway, Casper's friend get turned around about Christmas and everyone gets happy. I guess. Santa shows up, everyone gets happy.
Hermie and & Friends Christmas: ...huh. A talking bad CGI caterpillar named Hermie brings his human friend Fruitcake. Friend is enjoying it too much. I mean, he looks just terrible. This transitions into worse CGI as a rip off of A Bugs Life emerges. Seriously, of all of Disney Pixar to rip off, you rip off A Bug's Life? Half the character mids look ripped off from it with the exception of a Bee who's Elvis. It's snowy and frozen so I wonder if they realize that their food chain is broken? Oh, I guess they do. The cockroaches have hoarded all the food and made a monopoly of it because everyone else was working on Christmas. Then one of the bugs starts talking about Jesus. Then God starts talking directly to the bugs. I know it's a kid's show but I wish a deity would appear and affirm that I was doing to the correct thing.
The bugs don't do any of their own gathering with the exception of the cockroaches. They have all the wealth, in this case, the food. The other bugs expect the two cockroaches to support them. The cockroaches are, in fact, about 1% of the civilization of bugs. They also take the food that the bugs eventually get from them and continue to hoard it from themselves. The overall message of the special seems to be espousing a welfare state in which the richest support everyone else. I'm a centrist that leans left but damn if this isn't a cruddy Aesop.
The bugs then need to get their fruitcake that got stolen from back. They plan and then directly ask God for help. God says that they're missing the point and that he's the reason for the season. God misses the point that the bugs are going to starve to death. Two of the ladybugs decide to give some of the last of their food to the cockroaches and it does a Grinch on them. I won't lie, I have some major problem with this special. So, we learn that it's good to give so the rich should give quite a bit to the poor. Then a frog shows up and, instead of eating everyone, it puts the star on the tree.
Non-Viewing Thoughts: What the hell is figgy pudding and why is Irving Berlin refusing to leave my house unless I can give him some?
Late-Christmas Ideas: The ability to give others retroactive lessons in Computer graphics animation. That way I never have to see terrible animation that makes me want to cut out my eyes. While we're at it, how about the ability to speak directly to a deity and get an immediate answer?
The Tally
Mountain Dews Left: 10
Energy Drinks Left: 2
Cups of Coffee drank: 0
Pumpkin Pie Left: Half of the pie
Sanity Rating (1 being a Brisk Fox Trot, 10 being 7 straight hours of Vogueing with no rest stop): 7
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